Online Parent Support Chat

30.1.07

How can I get her to respect me...?


Question:
May 16-year-old daughter has ADHD and anxiety issues. With the help of Adderal she is making pretty good grades but could do better. My biggest problem with her is our lack of communication. I have 3 heads and she blows everything I say out of proportion and throws a tantrum. I have now entered menopause and I don't want to deal with her. That's bad I know, but it's how I feel.

She is making a lot of poor choices that I wish I could talk to her about, but I get nowhere. She just screams in my face and I just want to pack my bags and leave until she grows up and learns from her own mistakes. How can I get her to respect me enough to listen to my advice?

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Response:
Unfortunately, “providing advice” is just another “traditional” parenting strategy that has little or no effect. And it’s not surprising that she doesn’t listen. Usually, both child and parent are in so much of their own individual emotional pain that “listening” is nearly impossible.

Dealing with temper tantrums is covered in detail here: www.myoutofcontrolteen.com

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