Online Parent Support Chat

23.3.07

I am afraid he won't know his limits.

My son has always been girl crazy (and thinking back his father was too - I knew his father all the way back to elementary school - and were on and off again boyfriend/girlfriend). I have no evidence of peeping tom type behaviors, in appropriate touch or anything in the like, but always having and wanting girlfriends is top priority. I think some of it has to do with his constant needing to be grown up, always knows what is best for himself, and possibly some low self esteem. Even though I have had numerous talks with my son about "liking yourself before liking other people," he knows best.

My son is 13 with adhd and ODD and is doing remarkably well on adderall XL. But, I do know he wants girlfriends, older girlfriends, and I found out last week - he got a condom out of the gas station vending machine. My ex husband has always let the kids watch movies and TV shows with more adult content than necessary. My kids were fortunate enough to find an old box of playboy magazines at their fathers, and also a box of intimate toys, which are his and his fiance's. My sons are completely different and I can see talking with the two of them equally, the one sees the stuff and can go on about his business - but my other son feels this is his business. My oldest son also wants to be grown up and I can see him testing everything he can to prove so.

My son has also been going with his friends to after school games, open skating, and a few movies. He talks with me about what goes on - and he made a comment last week about "feeling a girl up." He also told me he likes the idea of being on the track team so he can "meet more girls."

I know everyone is different. I know what I did at his age and what some boys tried doing to me; I am no prude, but I also know I had some inhibitions - I know that I was able to say "no." I am worried he being a boy will be the aggressor - he has had a history with anger and controlling behavior - while I left his father when my son was just 6 - he says he has some pictures in his head of us fighting he can't let go. I really believe the ODD/ADHD plays up the stories in his head - but I am afraid he won't know his limits.

www.MyOutOfControlTeen.com

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