Online Parent Support Chat

24.3.07

I am nearly at the end of my tether...

I am nearly at the end of my tether. I am a single mum living and working full time in London, England. My daughter, K., is 12 years old (13 in July) and is a complete nightmare to live with at the moment (usually from about day 21 of her 28 day cycle). She is completely unreasonable, explodes up at anyone who tries to challenge her (even her school teachers!), she is abusive (and has recently started swearing at me in particular really badly) which I do not tolerate. When I challenge her she then becomes destructive (only last week she tried to trash my living room). I try to send her to her room and she just point blank refuses, if I then try and use force and manually move her to her room she then becomes violent and lashes out at me and the last thing I want to do is stand up and have a full fledged fight with my 12 year daughter.

Last Monday afternoon she went out with a "friend" after school who I disapprove of, although I wasn't particularly happy about her going out or the person she was with, I was at work (about 6 miles away) in the City and so agreed that she could go out but she was to be back by 7pm (not unreasonable considering she is only 12). I called her and sent her a text message on her cell phone to which she responded and said she would be home. It got past 7pm and there was no sign of her, the time went on and I finally called my mother for some advice and told her of the situation about 9.30pm - I then called the police and reported her as a missing person.

The police were brilliant …they came round and took a recent photo and a hairbrush (for DNA!) they then put out a call to all cars in the area to look out for her. During this whole time I was absolutely beside myself and worried that my beautiful daughter was laying dead somewhere on the streets of London. I called and text all her friends or at least every number I could get hold of until eventually word got back to her that I had called the police and everyone was looking for her. She then walked in about 10 minutes past midnight with the police arriving about 2 minutes after and she had such a terrible attitude, she was rude and just gave off the impression she couldn't care one bit. I was so ashamed and embarrassed as my daughter had changed into a monster.

I still do not know to this day where she was, what she was doing or who she was with. She allegedly smashed up her new top of the range cell phone (because I was trying to call her persistently and was getting on her nerves!!) she was also seen about 3 miles away getting on a bus about 11pm which she denies. Apart from that I have no idea what she was doing and can't get anything out of her.

Our week didn't get much better, on Friday morning she left for school at 7.30am (as normal) and I got a call from her school at 9.30 saying that she had only just wondered into school over an hour late - her journey is only a 30 minute journey so therefore she went missing for 2 hours with no real reason - she told me that the traffic was bad and the buses were late, etc., etc., but yet again I have no idea what she was doing for that 2 hours. I tried to talk to her about this when I got in from work Friday evening and this is when her attitude was so bad I asked her to go to her room, she point blank refused and then just completely freaked out on me, swearing, crying, shouting, screaming and throwing things, I finally restrained her and she broke down in tears and was inconsolable and kept saying that she wanted someone to help her because she didn't know why she was behaving like this?

Her attitude hasn't got any better this week and she is constantly trying my patience, being disrespectful, rude and swearing. I have taken away her cell phone, her laptop and have tried to ignore her attitude but I now feel like I am going mad and I am scared that I am losing my beautiful little girl.

I am taking her to our doctor next week and am going to ask for advice and also to ask if he can put her on a hormone replacement/pill to see if this works because I am now really at the end of my tether and feel like I am failing and that I am losing my lovely daughter to this teenage monster!

HERE"S HELP

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