I am the single mother of 3 boys ages 16, 17 and 23. (and am getting grey fast!!!) My 23 year old lives in the in-law apartment in my house and the other 2 live in the house with me. My oldest son has ADD and is very angry with his father who was abusive, but who no longer is a part of our lives. The problem is my oldest is taking out his anger on my youngest, who looks very much like his father. My oldest is abusive both physically and verbally. My youngest is no angel, but he doesn't deserve to be abused like this.
I have tried to talk to my oldest, but he gets enraged and like today, says things like, "what are you retarded?...you don't see what a pain in the --- he is !!"
I wanted them to go to counseling, but they both refuse. I want my oldest to move out, but he is on unemployment until the weather changes. He has been telling me since November that he is moving out, but he has a great deal here...he pays rent, when he can, he eats my food and uses my things...why should he leave??? Now he's talking about staying on unemployment to go to school!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have told my oldest to stay out of my house, but whenever I'm away, he come in and starts with my youngest! I am very concerned with the welfare of my youngest two sons and I know the best thing is for my oldest to move out, but I can't seem to make him go, and I am torn because I can't just throw him out in the streets!