Online Parent Support Chat

5.4.07

This is killing me...

Yes hi, okay… im having serious problems, my daughter who just turned 15 last month, has been very sexual active, to kinda explain things, we have never really been stable until the last three years, and my kids grew up mostly with a lot of domestic violence, their father left at an early age.

When Ashley was in the second or third grade, she had seen my boyfriend at the time drunk and beating me …he kicked our door in and we had a scary time, well she ended up telling me that he hurt her sexually, of course we were already split up, well after we went all through court and like 1 1/2 years later, she told me she made it up cause she was really scared, at that point I was in shock and I let her know that, no matter what, you can never lie about something like that ever.

Years pass and now she’s like 12 years and she decides to start having sex with a 20 year old Mexican, when I found out my god, im still having hard time, well I moved again, and know were in court again, but there’s not enough proof, and she says it was not rape she wanted to …I mean this guy didn’t speak English, then now I just found out that a 29 year old family friend of mine was also having sex with her for almost two years, me being a single mom most of the time, now we are in a stable good place, and were going to court, and still in process of waiting trial, but she says she also wanted to.

Then the other day I ran across some nude pictures on my cell phone that she had sent to some guy in California, because he said he would send her a phone, this is killing me, I have had her in counseling, off and on, and she is currently attending.

I also have two other children at home a 13 year old son, and a 12 year old daughter, I just don't know where to begin...I m thinking I have to quit school, and not let her leave my side, I’m so scared for her, and for the way she is headed, and we don't talk well to each other, im just I don’t know what to do and I cant handle anymore court dates, please what ever advice you can help me with will be GREATLY APPERICIATED!!

Sincerely,

T.R.

NEED HELP?!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

TR,

I hear you! Being a mom of an almost 16 year old step daughter who has all but destroyed my life,my health, my hope and my faith, I HEAR YOU!

I know there are NO easy answers and I know it seems for me at least that when I follow the rules.... I still get no relief! You too? And all I want is for her to change. Be happy. Live happy. Be good! I am sure you feel the same deep down Now sometimes, I dream.... You know most adults dream about moving to an island, being happy, relaxing, just living. Well, I admit I dream of her running away! That is MY dream! Not a good one, I know. ANd really, it is not what I want. I want peace. She seems to want me dead. In fact she says that.

So, forget he island, FOR NOW, and let us buckle down together!

I say get rid of the cell phone, computer, ANYTHING that causes her to have access you disagree with or that is dangerous to her! WHether SHE agrees, screams, cries, or hates you, YOU ARE THE PARENT. Not her. Lets get real, nothing you do is going to change her. It can help, lead her to the right way, maybe now, maybe later. I feel sometimes, at least with my daughter, all I can do is HOPE! Hope it sticks. All I can do is to "DO THE RIGHT THINGS" and not kill her! lol... No, I am not going to kill her but she is killing me. I feel you. I understand. You try so hard and feel it was for nothing.

In the end, it is for something. I think we should start a group! "that which does not kill me will make me stronger"! lol
Really! What else can we do!

I am glad you are her to vent and cry and try. By the way, having a bad family life comes with these kids, I think. And as for dysfunction... We all have that! We are NOT perfect, just trying!

Hang in there!

D.