Online Parent Support Chat

31.5.07

HELP!!! I'm about to have a breakdown.


Hi Mark,

I'm a dental hygienist and one of my patients today was telling me about your website. She says it has really helped her with her son. I am having major problems with my daughter right now and am wondering if you can help. I am going to join your on-line support group but would like to explain to you what I am going through.

My daughter is 13 and we have had one problem after another for the past 8 or 9 months. She has been on restriction the whole 8th grade give or take a few weeks. The main problem is her boyfriend. First of all he is 2 years older than her but I didn't know I thought he was in 8th grade as well. They have been official since December 7th and they are "IN LOVE". In February she started sneaking out at night in the middle of the night to see him. I had no idea this was going on until the security guard in the neighborhood told me. So back on restriction she went. I purchased an alarm to keep her in the house at night. We set it at night and that put that problem to an end.

She said she was ready to have sex and wanted to be with him because she loved him. I told her she was not ready etc. and bought her a book on reason she should wait to have sex. I found her reading it a few times. I thought I would let her read some information herself. I put her on birth control because she said she was ready to have sex at 13. Not to give her permission but I know my daughter and I'm sure with the sneaking out they were not meeting up to have a tea party.

One day I came home from work and she was home alone for one hour. She was acting peculiar and all of a sudden I heard a crash coming out of her window. He had jumped out of her window and bent my alumawood patio cover all up and then lied about being at my house. I have had contact with his parents and so on regarding these situations.

We all decided keeping the kids apart was a mistake and the sneaking around would stop if we gave them some time together supervised. So we let them hang out a few times at our houses with parents at home and they were not allowed in the bedroom. They went out to dinner for his birthday...with his parents etc. A movie date etc. Then a couple of weeks later they ditched school to be together. He was suspended from school for an incident and convinced her to ditch with him.

She has had problems with Friends now because all she wants to do is hang out with him. Seriously she has been on restriction since December. With 2 weeks off restriction and we let them hang out a few times and then they ditched. So back on restriction.

I actually prefer her to be on restriction because it keeps her away from him. I feel I gave this kid a chance and he screwed up big time. Or maybe I did in the first place. I don't know. She is loosing her friends and her freedom over him.

Tonight she got in a big fight with her friend because My daughter ditched her friend and made her walk home alone so she could be with her boyfriend whom she is not suppose to see.

I feel like I'm doing everything in my power and think they should end this. I've told her as much and explained to her that he has ruined her life and her freedom and her relationship with her friends. I've taken her phone away this week and she acts like its the end of the world. She said she was going to kill herself etc. "why can't you just let me talk to my boyfriend" were in love etc etc. I'm worried because she is fighting with her friends and she cant talk to her boyfriend she is severely depressed. I have also threatened to place her in a new school that is opening up. That is also stressing her out because her friends are not going there.

There is so much more....but its late and I already gave you and ear full. Do you think your program can help me?? I feel like i'm about to have a breakdown.

A.

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