Online Parent Support Chat

4.5.07

You F**ckers!


Mr. Hutten,

I came across information about your program on the internet today while looking for information on how to handle my daughter’s utter lack of respect toward her father and I and her emotional outbursts. I’m hesitant to try something that I just came across on the internet, but something about your program “spoke” to me. Although our daughter (she’s 14) isn’t doing many of the things listed such as having sex, doing drugs, skipping school, stealing, etc., the beginning part (below) describes her behavior of late to a T. As my husband puts it, she seems to have a misunderstanding about who is actually in charge!

--Is your child in charge (the tail is wagging the dog)? YES!
--Does she have an "attitude" -- 24 hours a day, 7 days a week? Yes to a degree—although she can be perfectly sweet and funny at times—but look out, that can turn fast and you never know what will trigger it!

Does your child often:
--lose his temper YES!
--argue with adults Not at school—she saves it all for us
--refuse to comply with rules and requests Yes if it’s something at home—at school she does whatever she’s asked
--deliberately annoy people Yes—I swear that’s what she’s trying to do
--blame others for his mistakes and misbehavior? YES—she constantly blames her sister (who is 11) and says that if she was never born things would have been better

Is your child often:
--touchy and easily annoyed by others ABSOLUTELY
--angry and resentful Yes
--spiteful and vindictive? Haven’t exactly reached this point yet, but I feel it’s under the surface

When I read this information, I felt that it was describing my daughter to a T. We are both totally stressed out and don’t know what to do about her disrespect other than try counseling (which we can’t afford) or call Children & Youth and have them take her for awhile thinking maybe it will “scare” some sense into her and make her see how good she has it. Her parting words to me today when I dropped her off at school were that her dad and I were “f**ckers” and that she hated me!

Help!

A.

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