My daughter will be 20 in two months time …she is what can be best described as strong willed …we do not have screaming fits anymore …perhaps because my husband and I have no control.
She is at university and has never had grade or social problems …she still lives at home, although she probably only sleeps there twice a week …the rest of the time she sleeps at her boyfriend or a friends house. When she is at home, she is either on the phone or emailing her friends …she seldom interacts with the rest of the family, although dinner time has always been a family affair (when she is home).
She drives around late at night and we feel she puts herself at risk. She is supposed to clean the house to earn extra money, but doesn’t do a good job …when I speak to her about it, she becomes defensive and tells me her friends do nothing in their homes …I keep quiet for peace. Her bedroom is disgusting …she makes her bed once a week when she does her chores.
My husband and I are getting less sleep than when she was a baby …we lie in bed worrying about her safety …often when we phone her …it goes to voicemail and when questioned she tells us that her phone went dead, or her battery was flat, which is totally acceptable after the fact, but we didn’t know that in the middle of the night. Out of control? I think she is very much in control, but it is wearing us down.