Online Parent Support Chat

9.10.07

This phase is sheer hell...

Hi! I am interested in purchasing your book, but I was wondering if there is anything in it concerning dealing with the "silent treatment" from teens? My husband and I are at our wit's end, so to speak. We love our 15-year-old dearly, but these past few months have been horrible! And I'm concerned because my husband helped me to raise our son from when he was a baby up until now, and our son is exhibiting some of the same traits that his biological father exhibited when he was in college, an unusual stubbornness and obstinance.

His biological father chose not to be a part of his son's life when our son was a baby, and I always felt grateful for that because he was abusive to me verbally and at times physically when I was in college, and I didn't want my son to come up thinking that that was normal behavior. But I hate to say it, it creeps my husband and I out here lately when he decides to do the "silent treatment" number after we have disciplined him(not shouted) about doing this or that. He is very smart in the sciences, but his obstinance is keeping him from making the As and Bs that he is very capable of making. But above grades, even, I want him to grow up and know that we are always here for him, and I've vocalized this to him how many times?

I am exhausted, and I hate to admit it to myself, even, but resentful inside. I am 37 years old and still young. I came from an abusive home, and I left when I was 18, and I pulled myself up by my bootstraps with the help of God, great friends, etc., and when I see my son who has it all -- two loving parents, a house, people who believe in him -- as awful as it sounds, I feel resentful inside. He has been aware of how I grew up dirt poor and how I worked extremely hard when I was a single mother, and Lord knows, I was happy to. I loved that boy more than anything. But I love him enough to use tough love if necessary, and I guess after the pleadings and yes, now and then, the shouting when we're at our wit's end, we don't know what to do, anymore? Military school in Front Royal, Virginia?

He's not doing drugs, and he can be very respectful, but he's not getting enough sleep lately because he's been staying up, and I know all too well how that can make people feel ornery. It's just it's been plain ornery, and I hate to say it, he's been acting like a stranger. We've stayed up to try to make sure he gets to bed. He sighs if we try to help him. I just don't know.

I know adolescents go through up and down, but right now, this phase is sheer hell.

Thanks for allowing me to get this out of my system, and again, I'm seriously considering buying your book. Maybe there are tips that could help us out in our situation. We do love him, and we know the years go by fast. I don't want the rest of these high school years to be stormy.

My Out-of-Control Teen

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