Online Parent Support Chat

30.4.07

We are very desperate...


Both myself and my wife are in a dilemma regarding our son. He is 15 going on 16 years old, and is causing us a lot of trouble for us both at home and elsewhere. Over the last number of months he has become extremely difficult to manage. He refuses to go to school, when he does go he causes serious disruption there. He has started abusing solvents (gasoline), drinking alcohol, shoplifting, and being extremely abusive at home.

He will not heed curfews, when he's grounded he ignores this. He fails to come home until we find him at night and encourage him to come home. He has repeatedly stolen money from us. Sometimes he self-harms (cutting his arms etc).

When we remove privileges from him he carries on without them. He tells us he has nothing we can take from him, that we mean nothing to him. He is a danger to himself …he is very easily influenced by others. We despair. He needs to take responsibility for his actions. He has been to counseling a number of times over the last few weeks but things have not improved, they have gotten worse. He is pushing the boundaries to the very limit. We are very desperate, could you advise us on a strategy that might work.

Get Help Here

29.4.07

I feel like my head is going to explode...


Hi Mark,

My daughter came home from her 4th hospitalization on Thurs and that night had an attack. I was up until 3 in the morning with her. We have had problems with her sleeping for over a year now. In the hospital they took her off Wellbutrin and increased her lamictal from 100 mg. to 150 mg. She is also on 40 mg. of celexa.

She is a problem with cutting. She cut her arm with her fingernails the 1st night home. We have finally got her to agree to DBT treatment as of yesterday. My husband and I both had to go the appointment with the therapist and sit in on half of it. I keep working on my poker face and not letting her anger influence my behavior toward her. I understand much better now why this is happening then when we went through my boy’s teen years, yet it still is no easier.

I get so much advice from school …this doctor …that therapist …this hospital …that sometimes I feel like my head is going to explode.

Signed R.

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Note: Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is based on a biosocial theory of borderline personality disorder (BPD). BPD is a consequence of an ‘emotionally vulnerable’ individual growing up within a particular set of environmental circumstances.

An 'emotionally vulnerable' person in this sense is someone whose autonomic nervous system reacts excessively to relatively low levels of stress and takes longer than normal to return to baseline once the stress is removed.

www.MyOutOfControlTeen.com

Oppositional Defiant Disorder


At times, all teenagers are oppositional argumentative, and inattentive. Absorbed in their own thoughts and concerns and more interested in their peer group, teenagers frequently turn a deaf ear to the adult world. Even when the demands are reasonable, a teenager may respond with belligerence or passivity. Because the thrust toward separation is especially intense, adolescence is a time when oppositional behavior is sometimes expected.

Disrespectful, defiant, and hostile behavior, however, must be carefully examined in a teenager when it begins to affect the youngster's social, family, and academic life or seems extreme compared to the teen's peers.

Identifying The Signs
It's not always easy to distinguish oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) from normal, age appropriate Oppositional behavior. Symptoms of the disorder tend to mirror, in exaggerated form, problems common to most families with teenagers. In addition, different families have various levels of tolerance for negative behavior. In some, a minor infraction of the rules produces major consequences, while in more tolerant homes, oppositional behaviors are largely ignored unless they cause practical difficulties.

In teenagers with ODD, there is a pattern of uncooperative, defiant, and hostile behavior toward authority figures that seriously interferes with their day﷓to﷓day functioning. They regularly lose their tempers, argue with adults, actively defy adult rules, refuse adult requests, and deliberately annoy others.

Blaming others for their mistakes, these may appear touchy, angry, resentful, spiteful, or vindictive, even to their peers. Although aggressive behavior tends to be limited, some youngsters engage in mild physical aggression, and their language tends to be more aggressive and obscene than the average teenager’s. Though particular stresses, of adolescence may significantly increase oppositional behavior, the symptoms represent a behavioral style that has been present for many years.

Teenagers with ODD were, in many, instances, fussy, colicky, difficult to﷓soothe infants. During the toddler and preschool years, when a certain degree of oppositional attitude is considered normal, ordinary points of contention in the family became battlegrounds for intractable power struggles. These oppositional episodes were typically centered around eating, toilet training, sleeping, and speaking. Temper tantrum, were usually extreme.

In childhood and then in adolescence youngsters with ODD consistently dawdle and procrastinate. These teens may agree to perform tasks but later claim ignorance of the responsibilities, much to their parent, chagrin and frustration. They may say that they do not hear and, as a result, are often, referred for hearing evaluations, only to be found to have normal hearing. The issue is so listening rather than hearing by adolescence, parents and their oppositional teen usually have established patterns of interaction that contribute to stress and problems at home.

During these years, struggles with teens commonly center on keeping their rooms neat, picking up after themselves, taking baths or grooming appropriately, using obscene language, complying with curfew, doing homework, and attending school. In all instances, winning becomes the most important aspect of the struggle for the teen. At times a teenager with ODD will forfeit cherished privileges rather than lose the argument.

In milder forms of ODD, open conflicts are limited to the home environment, while at school, the adolescent may be quietly resistant and uncooperative. More severe forms involve overt defiance toward other authority figures such as teachers, coaches, and other adults in the community. Teenagers with ODD may get into trouble with police - most often for a disrespectful, provocative, or belligerent attitude.

Teenagers with ODD typically have little insight and ability to admit to their difficulties. Rather, they tend to blame their troubles on others and on external circumstances. They are always questioning the rules and challenging those perceived to be unreasonable.

Before puberty, the rate of ODD is higher in boys than in girls. In adolescence, the incidence of the disorder is roughly the same.

Causes And Consequences
It appears that oppositional defiant disorder arises out of a circular family dynamic, A baby who is by nature more difficult, fussy, and colicky may be harder to soothe. These parents often feel frustrated and as though they are failures. Parents who perceive their child as unresponsive or "bad" may come to anticipate that the child will be unresponsive or noncompliant. They may then become unresponsive or unreliable in return, adding to the baby's feelings of helplessness, neediness, and frustration.

As parents attempt to assert control by insisting on compliance in such areas as eating, toilet training, sleeping, or speaking politely, the young child may demonstrate resistance by withholding, withdrawing, or refusing to cooperate.

As a child matures, increasing negativism, defiance, and noncompliance become misguided ways of dealing with normal separation issues. In this way, the disorder may represent unresolved separation anxiety, a tenacious drawing out of the "terrible twos."

The more a child reacts in defiant, provocative ways, the more negative feed back she elicits from the parents. In an attempt to achieve compliance, the parents or authority figures remind, lecture, berate, physically punish, and nag the child, But far from diminishing oppositional behavior, these kinds of responses toward the child tend to increase the rate and intensity of noncompliance. Ultimately, it becomes a tug﷓of-war and a battle of wills.

When such patterns typify parent﷓child relationships, discipline is often inconsistent. At times, parents may explode in anger with efforts to control and discipline. At other times, they may withhold appropriate punishments and consequences so that these soon become hollow threats. As the child continues to provoke and defy, parents lose control. Then, feeling regret and guilt, especially if they've become verbally or physically explosive, the parents may become excessively rewarding in order to undo what they now perceive to have been, excessive discipline or harsh consequences.

When a child starts school, this pattern of passive﷓aggressive, oppositional behavior tends to provoke teachers and other children as well. At school the child is met with anger, punitive reactions, and criticism. The child then argues back, blames others, and gets angry.

By the time a youngster with ODD reaches adolescence, she may have had years of difficulty at school, Her behavior and attitude regularly cause disruption in the classroom and interfere with social and academic functioning. When her behavior and defiance affect her schoolwork and behavior, she will have experienced school failure and social isolation. This, coupled with chronic criticism, can lead to low self﷓esteem. Usually, ODD youngsters feel unfairly picked on. In fact, they may believe that their behavior is reasonable.

My Out-of-Control Child


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More ODD Resources

Children With Oppositional Defiant Disorder | American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry
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Product Listing -
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Why Other Children are Rejecting Your ADHD Child. Attachment Disorder Checklist ... Clinically significant conduct disorders in older children are ...


www.msu.edu
Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Dealing With Defiance In Your Classroom ... differences in children with. ADHD, ODD, and co-occurring ADHD/ODD ident...


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Children oppositional defiant disorder ODD informations at All Family Resources, a ... disorder (ADHD), learning disabilities, mood disorders (depr...


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... between conduct disorder and oppositional defiant disorder, with similarities in both disorders that include defiance, rebellion against author...


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28.4.07

Aspergers


Question:
Does anyone out there have a teenage daughter that has been diagnosed with aspergers that does not fit what most people would think to be the general criteria?

For example they have been diagnosed with ADHD and ODD, but you think there is something else, but they are coordinated and seem social.

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Response from OPS member:
Here's some great info on Aspergers that may be of help to you on this one:
==> Article by Mark Hutten, M.A.
==> Article by Online Parent Support co-author, Steven Paglierani

Also, here is a great FREE Parenting Aspergers Mini-Course

And here's another great resource ==> Free Autism Newsletter

Online Parent Support

26.4.07

My boyfriend accuses me of picking on his son...

Do you think that I even stand a chance when I really don’t have backup support from my boyfriend when it comes to disciplining his oldest son? We have been together for 9 years, and his two sons have been living with us going on three years now, ages 14 and 13. I also have two sons …one lives with us, age 14, and the other, age 12, lives with his dad going on three years now. And my boyfriend and I share our youngest son, age 7.

His son believes that he doesn’t have to do anything that I tell him to do. He is supposed to wear glasses and it has become a constant battle to try to get him to wear them. I remind him every morning, when his dad is working nights and he is in bed in the morning, but he flat refuses to put them on. His dad will get on to him one day and he will put them on, but his dad does not stay consistent with him.

When my stepson is in trouble for bad grades and he is grounded, his dad feels sorry for him when there is a school dance and he lets him go to the dance because he is worried about his son’s social life. His dad gets on to him for back talking, but he does not realize that when he is not there it is ten times worse, and then my boyfriend accuses me of picking on his son because I do not like him.

Can I try to get my stepson to behave and listen to me, even if his dad is not consistently backing me up?

My Out-of-Control Stepson

25.4.07

Bipolar in Teens

My daughter is on 600mg of Lithium and her doctor says that this will help with the mood swings. She has been diagnosed with severe ODD and I don't think that this medication is working? Are we missing something here. It appears to me that this medication is not working at all.

Can any of you email me back some parenting tips. It is really getting frustrated because she is currently telling me that she can make it through a full day of school and it hasn't happened yet.

Help! Any suggestions?

Bipolar Disorder in Teens

Our house is a war zone ...


Help!!! Everyday is a fight with my 17 yr. old daughter. Lying, smoking, put herself on BC pills, you name it. Our house is a war zone and the lying and deceiving just keeps going. I'm desperate!

Join Online Parent Support. Get your troops together -- now! What the hell are ya waitin' for ...peace?

I'm tired of fighting with him...

I have a sixteen year old son who just in the last couple of weeks decided he was not going to go to school, stay out as late as he wants. He took his car one night and drove it down a dirt road he said about a 100 (I don't know really how fast), had a talk with the cops for having a girl on the hood of his car while he was driving.

He took off one night and his father and I couldn't find him, we called his cell phone and he wouldn't answer then about 2:30 in the morning …he called from the next town to come and get him and it turned out he had been at a party and drinking.

I took his car away for two months and his father shut off his cell phone ‘cause he has not paid the bill yet. He is going back to school but he is not following any of the rules and he doesn't come home until 10:00 at night or so and tells me he is not going to follow the rules unless I give him back his car.

Every night when he gets home it is the same thing …we argue and yell at each other about the car. His father is not much help cause our son will tell his father to shut up and his father will and not say anything so I am left on my own to deal with it all.

I'm tired of fighting with him and I'm afraid he is going to get into big trouble. I don't want to give in to him and give him back his car early, but what else is there to do?

GET HELP!

23.4.07

Tourettes

Thank you for the message on Tourettes. Shannon seems to have many of the symptoms and I am in the process of having her evaluated by a neurologist, but I think I told you this already. She has the tics and makes noises and seems a bit compulsive. Her dad also has Tourettes. I find it odd that they say it goes away in adults and teens, as it has just become more noticeable and uncontrollable with Shannon., beginning with a little head tic, the eyes rolling and other odd motions.


Another problem I am having with her, and this is a biggy for me, and I tried sending a message on the parent support line, but never received any reply, so I don't know if it went thru, or how it really works. Anyway, Shannon is 14, and I am about to self-destruct! I cannot have a simple conversation with my daughter without it becoming an argument, and when it does, she always says, well you always start it, and she really believes it. She is very disrespectful alone and in front of her friends.

We live with my mom because I had a car accident in 2001 and I had to sell my house (I am a single mom) …we moved her 2 yrs ago …I am getting a little better and can get around and do more with her, but the more I do, the more she is nastier. I have to say, she is spoiled, and it is my fault. When I was laid up with my back injury I just said yes, go ahead, because it was easier, when we were on our own, then to argue with her. So now I have this "Monster".

The other night when I told her it was time to come in at 8:00 (a school night with homework to do) …she came in screaming, I mean screaming at me because her friend couldn't come in, and spent 2 and 1/2 hours in her room crying and screaming and having a tantrum how mean I was, and that she needed to leave, she had to get out of this house, she hates living here, she wanted to go to her dads, anywhere, and it went on and on.

I did not give in, and I took here cell phone from her, but it happens a lot. What am I supposed to do? Please help me. Other than the disrespect she is generally a good girl, she 's not into drinking, and doesn't curse at me, or break curfew (but she doesn't have many friends either), she has a problem making friends and socializing with her peers as well.

More on Tourettes

Parenting Bipolar Teens

I know how all of these parents feel. My oldest son who is now 24 shoplifted and was suspended from school for drugs when he was in high school. At the time he was diagnosed as ADHD. We made him follow through with the consequences. Sent him to drug outpatient. Had him in therapy etc.

When he was 19 he joined the army, which we thought would be good for him with the structure. He got in a unsupervised wrestling match and had is neck broken. Luckily with surgery he is ok, but on all this he went AWOL and stole $15,000 from us. We would not let him come home until he turned himself in and rebuilt our trust.

His diagnose has changed to Bipolar. My 2nd son age 23 ran away from home at age 17 for 3 weeks. I felt like I was going to die. He currently has a very limited relationship with us.

My 15 year old daughter is currently in her 4th hospitalization in 5 months. 1st it was post-traumatic stress and depression from sexual assault, and now they have changed her diagnosis to bipolar.

Yesterday I bought 3 more books on how to parent a bipolar teen. I'm trying the poker face. I'm in therapy also for my depression and we have found a church. I try to have a daily time to read my bible and pray. It helps. Also my job I had for 12 years ended last Nov. due to the company closing. I guess things happen for reasons.

I need the time to heal and be strong for my children. Also my son’s father, my ex-husband was admitted to Hazdeldon for trying to kill himself. He is bipolar and has never stayed him treatment.

Signed R. - I refuse to give up hope, yet I'm so afraid at times it makes you feel helpless.


More on Bipolar Teens

More on Parenting Bipolar Teens

She let me know she was drinking and had sex...

Thank you. I will get the hang of all the on line blogs and my husband and I are going over the first lesson. In fact we practice situations before my daughter gets home. I know my situation is not that much different then others you have heard.

My daughter was adopted at 3-days old. She has always been a quite child and very obedient. She was always in private schools, and then in her 10th grade year, we switched to get her better classes. She was ok, but has always been very unsocial. She is my only child and I have thought I have not tried to spoil her, but looking at the things you are saying I have made her dependent on me.

Anyway, we never thought much of dating, because she knew she would not be able until she was 17 or 18. Well, she started a friendship with a boy at school and he was not a Christian, but we did allow them to go to church and youth group. Well, they started sneaking around and lying. She finally snuck out of the house and that was the line. We didn't let them see each other and then she started telling me how she was going to live with her father. So, as you can see things started getting worse.

Her father is not a known pedophile, but she caught him on the internet, but we could not get anything criminal. So, I did not go to court and now she sees him. Since he has different methods then we do, she was hoping she could sneak out. Well, she did and she stayed out all night. She let me know she was drinking and had sex. This is very strange for a girl who is honor roll student and has always been very obedient.

So, now her dad wants to work with me and sees that there are issues. I will have him also study what you have to say and we will be diligent. I may start bloging and see if there are other parents that could have wisdom for me.

Thank you so much for caring and I will continue to trust the Lord and now start praying for you.

M.

www.MyOutOfControlTeen.com

20.4.07

He exhibits signs of depression...

How do you convince your 18 year old teen that you think they need to consider that they are depressed? My son exhibits many of the signs of being depressed but when you bring the subject up he adamantly denies it. He feels that admitting this shows weakness. My wife and I have both been diagnosed with depression and feel extremely better since beginning treatment (pharma and counseling). Talking to a counselor is also a ‘no no’ in my son's opinion as well.

My Out of Control Teen

She's been sneaking out with a boy...

She is a good kid …quiet and normally obedient …has been sneaking out with a boy …never before done anything like this …does not have many friends and a only child …has no emotion anymore and stares defiantly when spoken to. She is adopted and birth …mom drank and I think took drugs 3 months in. She is a honor student, but socially off. What to do?

My Out of Control Teen

I'm at a loss...

I HAVE A 15 YEAR OLD TEEN WITH MILD CEREBRAL PALSEY. AS I WAS SCANNING THE NET, I FOUND THIS SIGHT AND WAS STUNNED HOW IT FITS MY DAUGHTER... ANY HELP WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED. I HAVE ANOTHER DAUGHTER …THIS ALL GREATLY AFFECTS HER. I FEEL EXTREMELY SORRY FOR HER AND AM AT A LOSS OF WHAT TO DO.

My Out-of-Control Teen

There is an investigation going on behind our backs...

I am seeking help for a teen that has begun lying to get her way. I am this teen girls step mom …she has been with her father and myself since she was three years old …she did not see her mother for about six years …her mother has now started advising the child to claim child abuse and, although it would seem to a normal person that these allegations would be discounted from the mother and the child being that the mother wasn't even around to raise the child and, there is no history of abuse in the past.

It now seems there is an investigation going on behind our backs with the mother the child and an over zealous counselor from the school who I believe is over stepping her bounds.

My Out-of-Control Teen

She started carving her arm...


My 11 year old daughter likes to be with older kids, 14 year olds. I allowed her to go out with them last week and she came back and started carving her arm and messaging them showing pictures of this in the hope of being accepted. She is on the edge of this, I have told her in no uncertain terms that it is unacceptable as she is not doing it to self-harm rather to belong and that I do not want her meeting them again. She wants to see them tomorrow and shouts and swears that she will do what she wants and that I cannot stop her.

My Out-of-Control Teen

Twins in State Custody

I am the father of 17 year old twin daughters who are now in the custody of the state of Virginia. They are basically good girls but seem to do only what they want. Will your product help me in determining what, if any, help I can give them?

My Out-of-Control Teen

She's lying about being abused...

How do I stop an out of control teen that has begun lying about being abused so she can go stay with her biological mother who refuses to take responsibility for her, but is teaching her how to lie?

Get Help

Sounds Like A "Hill-Billy"


My son is 17, 11th grade, bad grades, drinking, chewing tobacco, not coming in at night on the weekends, written up in school at least 1x a month, cursing at me, refusing to do chores, messing up the entire house, not just his room, leaves spit can from his tobacco all over the house, beer cans in the yard, expired drivers license because he can't get the VOE from school to renew it because of his absents, not certain but think he has stolen things. He’s still in church, but skips Sunday school.


My Out-of-Control Teen

He showed his p@#$! in class...

I'm Florence from Malaysia. My soon-to-be 13 year old son is being more and more rebellious at home and at school. When he's caught doing something wrong, he denies and tries to lie his way out. He screams and challenges teachers to fight with him. I have always been encouraging him to be independent and has had given him much freedom in his childhood. Now, WHAT can I and the teachers do to help him submit to authorities without bruising his teenage ego?

He showed his p@#$! in class and when the teacher questioned him, he blamed that his friend told him to do thus. Teacher rebutted and he was infuriated and wanted to fight with the teacher. He's been lying very often recently. My darling has become a monster and it's "HEARTBREAKING".

Here's Help

He's Completely Unmotivated

What if your child (15) is basically a good kid? But, completely unmotivated. Will not do any school work ...is failing (not because he doesn't understand, but because he simply chooses to not do anything.) He sits in his classes like a bump on a log. His friends are all doing well in school ...he would rather sleep in class.

Help Is Here

Since her birth, mom drank and took some drugs when she was pregnant...

My daughter is doing pretty rebellion type things, but lately I have been doing some research into the idea that maybe she is making poor choices because of something else? Since her birth, mom drank and took some drugs when she was pregnant. I am wondering if this could have anything to do with her antisocial behavior and the way she makes decisions. I have blamed myself for protecting and being a sheltering type mom, but I don't see myself much different then most mothers who love their children.

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Response:
Drug use is harmful for both mother and child at any time during a pregnancy, but certain drugs are especially damaging at certain stages.

During the first ten weeks of a pregnancy, drugs like alcohol can cause the baby's heart, limbs, and facial features to form incorrectly. After about the tenth week, drugs can damage the eyes and the nervous system.

Drug abuse can stop normal growth and cause the baby to be born too early, too small or both.

Learning difficulties may develop later.

The babies of mothers dependent on narcotics are often born dependent and suffer withdrawal symptoms, such as irritability, vomiting and diarrhea, and joint stiffness.

Babies born to mothers who injected drugs also run the risk of contracting HIV/AIDS, syphilis or hepatitis.

www.MyOutOfControlTeen.com

17.4.07

EEG Biofeedback



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Mark,

I know a lot about neurofeedback and would be glad to
talk to any parents who are interested in adding
neurofeedback to whatever else they're doing.

A friend and I started a hometrainers network here in
the DC area, and we have more than 100 parents doing
neurofeedback at home with their kids on their own.
All have seen results, from miraculous to some
positive changes. Every one of them thinks the effort
has been worthwhile.

I also have trained two kids who have Asperger's
Syndrome. I'm not a medical professional, so I train
them for calming, but the results bleed over into
other areas. They've become more sociable, have lots
of friends for the first times in their lives, are
doing much, much better in school, and are more
compliant at home. Their parents have taken them off
their meds and are huge advocates of neurofeedback.

Other things that are related and that parents can use
at home are the DavidPal (light and sound
entrainment), HEG (hemoencephalography, which
increases blood flow to the brain, which in turn gets
the brain switched on from slow-wave activity to
faster, processing speeds), and pRoshi (light pulses,
which calms brainwave activity). Every one of these
things works and is very easy to use. (The LENS, which
my son is doing right now isn't possible to do at
home, but it is an incredible treatment, and generally
works faster than neurofeedback. So, looking into
LENS, which is also called neurotherapy, is
worthwhile.)

I must say, though, that a parent who is going to
train a child him-or-herself must have a good
relationship with him or her or it ain't going to
work!

Jane
email: jane_gurin@yahoo.com

Member of Online Parent Support

EEG Biofeedback

Is EEG Biofeedback available in Hawaii? Never heard of it but makes total sense.

K___ had symptoms of ADHD from around 3rd grade …he also suffered from facial and upper body tics. He responded well to low dose Ritalin, but had serious side effects. His behavior problems worsened as he got older from occasional hitting other kids to full-blown ODD mostly with parents and siblings, including property damage, hurting animals, lying and stealing.

His relationship is the most pathological with his father who, although he feels close to him, really lacks the knowledge, resources, and ability to effectively guide him. K___ spends most of his time with his father. Many times when he is with me I am overwhelmed with the time and effort it takes to get him to calm down, eat a good diet, be respectful and then think about schoolwork.

It seems that after all the hard work he goes back to his father and everything gets undone again.

R.

LEARN MORE about EEG Biofeedback

How do I get back the control in my house?

MY SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD SON HAS RAN AWAY. HE HAS KEPT IN CONTACT BUT FEELS HE IS MAKING A STAND OR POINT. HE SAID HE WILL COME HOME TUESDAY AND WE WILL TALK. HOW DO I GET BACK THE CONTROL IN MY HOUSE? THE LOVE IN MY HOUSE?

Here's Help

16.4.07

Re: EEG Biofeedback

Hi Mark,

I'm so glad to see that you're aware of eeg feedback.
We used this with Eric four years ago when he was
unstable and had good results.

But it's an optimistic scenario to say that it will
take only 20 sessions. It's more likely to take 40 to
60 session for things like ADD and ADHD. And
neurofeedback works for other conditions as well,
Asperger's, Tourette's, bipolar disorder, anxiety,
depression, fibromyalgia, but these can sometimes take
many, many more sessions.

By the way, it's possible for parents to buy their own
equipment and get trained in how to do this on their
own or with the oversight of a clinician. That's what
I did after 40 sessions with a clinician and seeing
some results but being nowhere near the end. (My son
was actively suicidal, aggressive, not going to
school, etc.) I then trained my son over the course of
7th and 8th grade two to four times a week (as much as
I could get him to do it). In 9th grade, we continued
sporadically. He remained stable through that period
(and went off zoloft, seroquel, and triletpal, leaving
only lithium) and stayed stable till October 2006 when
he flashed into depression again.

He refuses to do neurofeedback with me, so I began
taking him to do LENS, which changes brainwave
activity through teeny, tiny pulses of electricity to
various spots on the brain. He's had a good result
from that, which is still ongoing. Additionally, he's
back on meds, adding lamictal and trilepal back in. I
expect we'll be able to take him off of the trileptal
before the year is out.

Fortunatley, I found a psychiatrist who is up on all
these complementary treatments. So, he's on board.

J.

www.MyOutOfControlTeen.com

14.4.07

Some days are so unbearable with him.

I am a single parent of three children. One child a boy of age 11 diagnosed with ODD. He is also ADHD. He is very aggressive with myself and my other children. I think that there is more to him than he has been diagnosed with. Some days are so unbearable with him.

Get Help!

Online Parent Support = Tuff Luv, Baby

Dear Parents,

Some parents email me for help with a particular problem, but when I give my recommendation -- which often involves some hard work on their part AND puts the parent in the position of being the "bad guy" due to the implementation of some "tough love" -- they often email me again with the same question hoping for a different answer (LOL).

So if you email me with a question, but you don't like my answer -- know that you are not likely to get a watered-down revision of my first answer in a second email.

Just thought I'd warn you ahead of time.


P.S. I've been known to give members of Online Parent Support a dose of "tough love." But I hope you understand that, if I do, I have your best interest, as a parent, at heart.

www.MyOutOfControlTeen.com

Online Parent Support = Tuff Luv, Baby

Dear Parents,

Some parents email me for help with a particular problem, but when I give my recommendation -- which often involves some hard work on their part AND puts the parent in the position of being the "bad guy" due to the implementation of some "tough love" -- they often email me again with the same question hoping for a different answer (LOL).

So if you email me with a question, but you don't like my answer -- know that you are not likely to get a watered-down revision of my first answer in a second email.

Just thought I'd warn you ahead of time.


P.S. I've been known to give members of Online Parent Support a dose of "tough love." But I hope you understand that, if I do, I have your best interest, as a parent, at heart.

13.4.07

I'm just at a loss...

Mr. Hutten,

I am very sorry I haven’t been in touch with you sooner. Some family issues had arisen and the reason for my delay. I am still interested in your program, but I’ve been patiently awaiting the disposition of the hearing and the final results on what the court was going to decide.

As it turned out, my daughter has been found delinquent, continued to skip school while in her father’s care and was suspended, continued to have failing grades within her 3rd quarter of her sophomore year, her probation officer recommended 3 days in a detention facility for the suspension but her father said she was improving at home, I said I saw no improvement and that her part-time job at McDonald’s (she started 3 months prior) was a distraction from her schoolwork and should be stopped.

Her PO, her father, and her therapist have all recommended that she remain with her father at this time, but custody was not a factor in this case. The magistrate suspended the 3 day detention, extended her probation and decided she should write an apology letter to me for her destructive behavior when she’d been in my care.

My attorney said custody has not changed hands and that I still have legal custody, but that I have agreed to let her stay with her father for the time being. However, she is unwilling to come home to me and she gets away with everything at her father’s house. I just don’t know what to do.

She is on her way to flunking out of her sophomore year if she doesn’t pass this quarter. If you have an answer, I’m willing to listen. I want her home and to help in her direction because I felt I’ve lost any ability in bringing her to her senses.

I just had my first visitation with her on Easter Sunday and she bragged to my brother-in-law that her best friend is a 21 year old girl with a baby. This was my first visit with her in 3 months because her father wasn’t letting me visit with her and would argue with me every time I called over to speak to her. He told the probation officer that I didn’t deserve to have any visitation with my daughter. In the meantime, she is out every weekend unmonitored and involved with who knows?

She said she hates school and these older kids take up all of her time so she is uninterested in spending time studying. I put her on birth control pills before she moved over there only because I didn’t want to see her ruin her life. I’m truly scared! All of her friends are older and are tearing her down - every one of them. Her father just helped her get another cell phone. Now she has another reason not to concentrate on class work. I’m just at a loss.

GET HELP HERE

11.4.07

What's That Smell?


Mark,

Today I went into my son's bedroom and found a plastic bottle with a socket taped to it. It smells and looks as if he was using it to inhale marijuana or something. Also found a small dish with burned marijuana in it. I looked around and found what looked like a real hand gun but found that it's a BB gun.

I took them and hid them but how do I confront him over it?

He is very adept at telling me, mom, or others what they want to hear. This is very serious and I really don't know how to deal with it.

CLICK HERE

Mum in need of desperate help...


Hi

I am a very frustrated mum in need of desperate help. I have a son who just won't attend school, do any work around the home, is rude and difficult when spoken to and someone I just cannot reason with. Do you think that this program will help me communicate with my son better by getting him to be and do more positive things rather than the poor choices he is currently making. This situation is affecting the whole family and I am currently off from work due to depression as I am unable to cope with this stress. I really love my son but he tells me that I am always negative and never understand or help him in a positive manner. Can you please help as I don't know how to deal with this issue any longer. My main worry is he has totally messed up schooling and is still continuing. I am very desperate!!

Thanks

P.

Here's Your Help

She is extremely DISRESPECTFUL to me.

Well, here I am, this is the first time in the Parent forum, I started before but was closed out accidentally. Anyway, I am a divorced mom of a 14 yr old daughter. I was involved in a car accident in 2004, sustaining lower back & neck injury, which caused me restrictions in my mobility. I am now just becoming more mobile with the use of a cane, and at times a motor scooter or wheel chair(when distance is involved).

My daughter is classified for comprehension in school and struggles with social skills and maintaining friends from school. It seems each time she makes a friend or 2, it never lasts, she tells me they tell her she is "annoying". That leads me to the communication problems I have with her.

She is extremely DISRESPECTFUL to me. She feels that she is ALWAYS
RIGHT, AND THAT I START ALL THE FIGHTS. When I say fights, every conversation of ours turns into a fight. She can never just say "ok mom" and do something. She tells me I start everything, because she does not agree. I've tried in a million and one ways to explain that I am the mother and she is the child, and I make the rules, and I expect her to follow them. She doesn't have to agree but she has to respect my rules. A day doe not go by without a yelling match.

We currently live with my mom (I had to sell my house), and we are driving my mom crazy. She tells me I sound like a nasty step mom, and my daughter sounds like a witch with no respect. It is terrible. I am embarrassed to open any windows here. SOMEBODY, PLEASE HELP ME.

I KNOW, I SHOULD SAY IT ONCE AND WALK AWAY. SHE FOLLOWS ME, GETS IN MY FACE, THROWS TANTRUMS THAT I AM THE WORSE MOTHER AND AN ABUSIVE MOTHER (I DO NOT TOUCH HER). SHE JUST WANTS TO MAKE AN AWFUL SCENE SO I GIVE IN.

I GET SO EMBARASSED. PLEASE HELP ME. THERE IS SO MUCH MORE, IT DOES GO DEEPER. THIS IS ONLY THE SURFACE. MARK, OR ANY PARENTS OUT THERE, CAN YOU PLEASE GIVE ME ADVISE?????

__________________

I think the most helpful thing to advise at this point would be for you to open the following chapters of the ONLINE version of ebook (listen to the audio as well as read the text):

  1. Anger Management
  2. The Art of Saying 'Yes' & The Art of Saying 'No'

Not a member of Online Parent Support yet?

Is this for real?

Is this for real? Phone access, and internet support? Are you really doing this?

R.

```````````````````````````````````````

Hi R.,

No ...it's all a con job (just kiddin').

Seriously ...it's for real. People are often stunned that they get this package for under 20 bucks, but if it were any more than that, most people outside the U.S. would not be able to afford it.

What Package?

Is anything similar to your program in Australia?

Mark

I have been searching for some type of help for my teen for a while now. He is 14 and attending Year 10. His grades have fallen dramatically and he has no ambition to study. He wants to finish school at the end of this Year as he said he hates it. He is very rebellious, a chronic liar, steals etc. I have contacted numerous people to try and seek help but unfortunately have gotten nowhere. I happen to come across your website and was wondering if there is anything similar to your program in Australia, in particular Western Australia? If not would it be still beneficial to obtain your book?

L.

``````````````````````````````````````````````

Hi L.,

I don't know of any similar program in Australia. There's not another in the U.S. either. But you don't have to attend "in person" ...that was the whole point of putting the whole program online -- so anyone anywhere can get the same material and coaching.

Attend my Parent-Program -- ONLINE.

10.4.07

A THREATENED FAMILY BY A TEEN KID


A THREATENED FAMILY BY A TEEN KID

There is the case of a family in our community who had three kids before the death of the wife.

The kids were before aged seven, five and three years at the death of their mom. The father of the kids had to marry another wife, to help him take care of them. As the kids grew older, the relationship between them and their step � mom grew worse.

This resulted in their father sending out two of the kids who are females, leaving the male kid to stay with them at home. The new wife has no child of her own.

Now, the male kid is seventeen years old, the relationship between the kid and the step mom has nearly divided the family into three, with each person on his or her own. The male child constantly quarrels and fights with his step mom.

Each time the father supports his wife, his kid will quarrel with him, or any time the man supports his son, the wife will quarrel and fight him. The family is now thrown into chaos.

As a result of this situation, the male kid is now seriously out of control. He no longer takes instruction from the father or the step-mom . This kid now constitutes a threat to the family .

This has equally affected his education , as he can now stay out of school for one month . During this period, the kid wonders about aimlessly and indulges in crime and other unacceptable behaviours . He is now out-of-control.

This development is adversely affecting the dad, who most of the time watches helplessly, since he is under threat, coupled with the fact that he is poor and lacks the fund to take him to reformatory school . The dad looks helpless and hopeless, since according to him, he is ready to die anytime as the world now offers him nothing to cheer about.

Please , share this with us and advice on a way out since you have been in this field for many years.

[On another note:]

Recently , in our community, a man offered to give relief to the women. At the gathering , the man grouped the women into two. One group was made up of widows while the other group comprised women whose husbands are living. The group of widows(30) was offered twenty bags of rice while the other group of women (55) was offered ten bags of rice.

One of the women whose husbands are alive , but extremely poor, and with no body to help was tempted to join the group of widows upon seeing the mode of distribution of relief but shame could not allow her.

When the said woman reached home, she narrated the story to her husband, who burst into anger and threatened to beat up the wife, saying: "why didn�t you join the group of widows? Of what use is this my life? Afterall, I am worse than a dead man since I can�t afford my daily meal , more of less of those of our kids". What is the difference between me and a dead man?"

These statements above reflect the position of most families in our communities as a result of extreme poverty. Our people are suffering . Most families in our communities can hardly feed themselves , not to talk of training their kids in schools . This situation accounts for the numerous out-of-control kids in our communities.

We cannot allow this condition to continue. Hence, our organization is prepared to partner with other organizations towards addressing this issue , through the empowerment of our people .

How can your organization assist us?

Online Parent Support

She's Smokin' & Drinkin'


My 14-year-old daughter is smoking, drinking and may be promiscuous. Last year she had anorexia followed by bulimia. But she got well, but now we are on to something new again. HELP!

Here's Help

8.4.07

PRESS RELEASE:

Help for Parents With Strong-Willed, Out-of-Control Teens

How much longer will you tolerate dishonesty and disrespect? How many more temper tantrums and arguments will you endure? Haven't you already wasted too much time and energy trying to make your child change?

The problem is that most parents of strong-willed, out of control teenagers have tried very hard to regain control -- but with little or no success. And it seems the harder the parent tries, the more the teenager "acts-out."

I often hear the following statement from parents: "I've tried everything with this child -- and nothing works!" But when they attend my parent-program, they soon discover they have not tried everything, rather they have tried some things.

Now there is an online version of the parent-program for working parents who are struggling with their out-of-control teenagers, and you will experience the same success as those who attend the program in person.

You will learn cut-to-the-chase parenting strategies that work immediately rather than months or years down the road. And I guarantee your success or you get your money back -- and you can keep the package I am about to offer you. This is how confident I am that the online version of the parent-program is going to work for you. The online version is called Online Parent Support (OPS).

OPS includes My Out-Of-Control Teen eBook (a digital book). In this book, I share over 150 proven techniques to use with your strong-willed, out-of-control teenager. If parents don’t have these techniques, all they are left with are conventional parenting techniques. And as they may have discovered, conventional techniques don't work with unconventional teenagers.

Believe it or not, your child doesn't need counseling. You don’t need parenting classes. You don’t need -- nor would you want -- a 250-page manual on how to be a better parent. Who has time for that? And you don’t need to go through another year of pain and misery with rebellious, foul-mouthed teenagers with an "attitude."

However, what you may need is someone who has worked with troubled teens and frustrated parents for nearly 20 years -- and does so for a living -- to show you a set of very effective parenting techniques that are guaranteed to work. That would be me, Mark Hutten, M.A..

Whether you have big problems or small problems, teens or pre-teens, whether you are a Single Parent, Divorced or Separated Parent, Adoptive Parent, Foster Parent, Step Parent, a Traditional Two Parent family, or a Grandparent raising a Grandchild -- this material is guaranteed to work for you.

Initially, the parents who attend my parent-program (the same program you’ll get with Online Parent Support) are at their "wit's end" and describe home-life as “hell's kitchen.”

A few short weeks after they complete the program (which is divided into 4 sessions, 90 minutes each session), the majority of parents report that problems in their homes have reduced in frequency and severity and are finally manageable.

You’ll be pleasantly surprised at how simple it is to get started with these non-traditional parenting strategies. Whenever you have a couple spare moments sitting at your computer, you can see how to bring about positive change in your household...

…change that will reduce parent-child conflict;

…change that will reduce your stress-level significantly;

…change that will increase the likelihood that your child will be a success -- both at school and in life.

Online Parent Support is all about:

1. Serving people, specifically parents who are at a point of frustration with their child's emotional/behavioral problems and resultant parent-child conflict

2. Providing an invaluable product that everyone can afford

3. Providing a parenting-package that continues to grow over time by incorporating additional products and services at no extra cost to existing members

When parents have finally had enough disrespect and behavior problems with their child, they come to my office to file an incorrigibility charge (i.e., a legal complaint due to the child being unruly and delinquent in the home).

At this point, I ask the parent, "Would you be willing to try something else first before we consider filing the charge." And most parents agree they would rather not involve their child in the "juvenile justice system" unless they absolutely have to.

So I get the parent involved in my parent-program called Parent-Teen Support Group. In this group, which meets 90 minutes each session for 4 sessions, we look at a set of highly effective unconventional parenting strategies to use with their strong-willed, out-of-control unconventional child.

I follow up with these parents weeks and months after they complete programming, and 85% to 95% of parents:

(a) are able to avoid involving their child in the court system

(b) report that problems in the home and school have reduced in frequency and severity

(c) report that the few remaining problems are manageable

Now the Parent-Teen Support Group is available to you. And you don't even have to leave your house to participate.

Your child's behavior is never going to be perfect, but it can be a whole lot better than it is now.

Online Parent Support (OPS) is a program designed specifically for parents of strong-willed or out-of-control adolescent children. OPS provides the practical and emotional support parents need to change destructive adolescent behavior.

The straightforward, step-by-step action plans presented in the curriculum allow parents to take immediate steps toward preventing or intervening in their children’s negative choices. Parents involved with OPS have the opportunity to experience success at home within the first week.

The curriculum teaches concrete prevention, identification, and intervention strategies for the most destructive of adolescent behaviors. Parents cycle through programming quickly, thus reducing the length of time that (a) effective solutions in parenting are implemented and (b) resultant positive change in adolescent behavior is experienced.

Here is a partial list of typical parenting strategies. Parents have found these strategies to have little or no effect on their out-of-control child's behavior:

==> Trying to "reason" with the child

==> Having "heart-to-heart" talks

==> Confrontation or being "assertive"

==> Grounding

==> Taking away privileges

==> Time-outs

==> Counseling

==> Having the child go live with his/her other parent (if parents are separated or divorced)

==> Trying to be a nicer parent

==> Trying to be a tougher parent

==> Having another family member "reason" with the child (e.g., aunt or uncle)

==> "Giving in" and letting the child have her/his way

==> Verbal warnings

==> Ignoring misbehavior, and so on...

Your out of control children will NEVER work for what YOU want. But will they work for what THEY want? Yes. And I'll show you how!

Does your child often lose his temper, argue with adults, refuse to comply with rules and requests, deliberately annoy people, blame others for his mistakes and misbehavior?

Is your child often touchy and easily annoyed by others, angry and resentful, spiteful and vindictive?

Is your child in charge (the tail is wagging the dog)?

Does she have an "attitude" -- 24 hours a day, 7 days a week?

Is she resentful about something that happened in the past -- and just can’t seem to get over it?

Are you concerned that your child is having unprotected sex, hanging with the wrong crowd, or experimenting with drugs or alcohol?


Has your child lied to you, stolen from you, skipped school, destroyed property, run away from home, had a brush with the law, refused to follow any rules, or stayed out at night without permission?

If so, how much longer will you tolerate the dishonesty and disrespect? How many more temper tantrums and arguments will you endure? Haven't you already wasted too much time and energy trying to make your child change?

Take action now. This is YOUR chance to get the "child-problems" turned around, once and for all -- problems that are wearing and tearing at your physical and mental health -- problems that have probably gone on for years.

Press Release Sig/Company Info:

From the Office of Mark Hutten, M.A., Madison Superior Court, Division 2 (author of "My Out-of-Control Teen").

Mark Hutten, M.A.
Online Parent Support
Madison County Juvenile Probation
Madison Superior Court, Division 2
3420 Mounds Road
Anderson, Indiana
46017-1873

Cell: (765) 635-9037
Toll Free: (856) 457-4883

Email: mbhutten@gmail.com

==> JOIN ONLINE PARENT SUPPORT

7.4.07

I have started a campaign...

Dear Mark,

On these sacred moments-Easter- I deeply wish peace and tranquility for all the people on the earth especially for the people in the United States who called me a "princess", admired my intelligence and granted me many opportunities to actualize my potentialities while there as a student.

On these sacred moments, I also wish that the politicians all over the world, here, there and everywhere become less selfish and let people love each other and enjoy and treasure of the only life they have.

In this respect, I have started a campaign with the scientists, all over the world, especially the ones who are in a field related by any means to children, women and families. The aim of this campaign is to do all we can to bring people together in peace and tranquility and to respect human dignity. A vital move especially during regional turmoil.

Hence, if you like to join, please let me know.

Best Wishes,

Shahin

Online Parent Support

6.4.07

Foster Kid With Conduct Disorder

I am a foster-care parent who currently has a 4 year old child with a diagnosis of CD living with me. I have found that ignoring his disruptive behaviour, if safe to do so, seems to work best. Are there any strategies you would recommend for when he refuses to comply with an instruction? More often than not he says ‘no’ to a request to do something. Do you have any books for managing younger aged children or would the teen one be adaptable?

Thanks in anticipation,

P.

My Out-of-Control Child

5.4.07

Interview with Shahin Oliyaee Zand, a new member of Online Parent Support


Safeguarding the physical and psychological wellbeing of a child is without doubt one of the most sacred causes to fight for. And those who go to war with the monster of ’Child Abuse’ deserve kudos--to say the least. One such great campaigner is Dr. Shahin Oliyaee Zand.

Born in Tehran, she left for US at age 17 where she earned her academic degrees from the University of Minnesota, North Dakota University and Columbia University. She holds a Ph.D. in psychology, with emphasis on child sexual abuse research and prevention. She is widely known for her extensive taboo-breaking studies on sexual abuse of children and prostitution in the tradition-ridden Iranian society.

A faculty member of Allameh Tabatabaei University, Oliyaee Zand has conducted research for various institutions. She has authored hundreds of articles with psychological and social orientation for domestic print media. As the founder of the Children and Adolescents’ Sexual Abuse Prevention Center--the first of its kind in the Middle East--she recounted her challenges and triumphs and confided her concerns to Iran Daily in a recent interview: CLICK HERE

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder


Hi Mark,

I have a 17 year old daughter that has been pampered since she was a baby. I've always called her my angry child. When she wanted to eat as a baby, I had only so much time to get to her, if I crossed the line and waited just a split second too long she would scream the house down and then almost refuse to eat because she was so upset. I would have to give her a bath and do whatever I could to calm her before she would nurse. Now this behavior continued on into her childhood.

When learning to walk, if she tripped on a chair ...she would kick the heck out of that chair. Or if she fell or whatever, it was always someone else's fault (who ever was close by). Throughout her childhood we tip toed around so as not to upset her, because if she got upset and angry everyone paid for it. The strange thing is, that her school never saw that part of her. They had no idea that she was angry. But let me tell you, when 3:30 rolled around and we picked her up from school, she would slam doors and be miserable because of the bad day she had. I always assumed that we were her sounding board and she held it in all day and then would vent when she got home.

Just a little history on my daughter...she hit her head when she was 1
½ years old and apparently did some inner ear damage. Since then she has only 10% hearing in her right ear. We noticed that she wasn't speaking properly and was missing all the quiet letters. She started seeing a speech therapist at the age of 3 and continued on through out elementary school. Because of her hearing problem she had aids in her classroom and in elementary school they used a special system where the teacher would where a microphone and there were 4 speakers in each corner of the room. And although all children benefited from this, everyone knew it was there because of my daughter. So needless to say she was picked on "as the poor little deaf girl".

She spent some pretty horrible years at her elementary school, which made her have a lot of baggage. Her self-confidence is in the toilet. She washed her hands until they were raw and bleeding because she was told she had germs. If she drank from the water fountain at her school, all the other kids would line up at the other one because "my daughter had germs".

She was forever going to the washroom during class time and it was because she needed to wash her hands. She never went on school field trips unless I went with her, and even family outings she hated to go along.

She was always concerned about bathroom breaks and what if there was no soap in the washroom. She was always worried if we had enough fuel and would there be bathrooms along the way to stop at. To this day she still doesn't want to come to restaurants with us to eat. Don't you think it is strange that a 17 year old doesn't like to shop? ...she doesn't. And when she absolutely has to come with me, I can tell she gets very agitated and when she has had enough we have to go or she makes it miserable for me the whole time.

We have had her seen by social services (psychologists) and also a psychiatrist. She just got to the point where she was counselor-ed out and wouldn't go anymore. She was diagnosed as a high anxiety with obsessive-compulsive behavior problems, but that is as far as it went. He did put her on a very small triangle pill that was for anxiety and it seemed to help, but she said they made her sick and wouldn't take them anymore.

She has no friends except one girl who is 2 years younger than herself. She does well in school and the teachers have seen improvements with her social skills, but it doesn't change her behavior at home. This one friend comes to our house rather than hers, I assume it is because of my daughter.

I could go on and on about her, but long story short is I am scared to death for her. What will become of my daughter? Where will she fit in out in the real world? I fear she will never leave home, and yet am fearful of what will happen to her if she does leave home. Does this make sense?

I love her so much and have always protected her from as much hurt as I could. My heart bleeds for my daughter. If I could have bought her friends, I think I would have (that is how bad I want to see her happy). I always had the feeling that she was the type of child that would either go back to her school with a gun and shoot everyone, or turn the other way and kill herself. I do not see her happy very much. And who can be happy when you have no friends. She frustrates all of us in the house, because she walks to the tune of a different drummer than the rest of us, and we need a lot of patience when dealing with her.

She gets frustrated and angry very easy and then ruins our plans for the day. She will go to school, church, doctors, dentists and once in a while to a restaurant with the family, but that pretty much sums up her activities outside the home.

When at home she is on the computer, watches TV or listens to her music. I know in my heart I over compensated for the fact that she had no friends, she was deaf and had these problems, but how do I correct it know when she is 17 years old and graduates next year? Can you please give me advise on how to handle this situation?

www.MyOutOfControlTeen.com

Underage Drinking


My daughter has a group of friends who engage in underage drinking. She was told this was unacceptable behaviour and she is not allowed to associate with this group. She said she does not agree with me and will not follow my rules. She understands the dangers since there is alcoholism in the family. Still, she will not abide by my rules. Any suggestions?

======================================
CLICK HERE for suggestions on this one.

This is killing me...

Yes hi, okay… im having serious problems, my daughter who just turned 15 last month, has been very sexual active, to kinda explain things, we have never really been stable until the last three years, and my kids grew up mostly with a lot of domestic violence, their father left at an early age.

When Ashley was in the second or third grade, she had seen my boyfriend at the time drunk and beating me …he kicked our door in and we had a scary time, well she ended up telling me that he hurt her sexually, of course we were already split up, well after we went all through court and like 1 1/2 years later, she told me she made it up cause she was really scared, at that point I was in shock and I let her know that, no matter what, you can never lie about something like that ever.

Years pass and now she’s like 12 years and she decides to start having sex with a 20 year old Mexican, when I found out my god, im still having hard time, well I moved again, and know were in court again, but there’s not enough proof, and she says it was not rape she wanted to …I mean this guy didn’t speak English, then now I just found out that a 29 year old family friend of mine was also having sex with her for almost two years, me being a single mom most of the time, now we are in a stable good place, and were going to court, and still in process of waiting trial, but she says she also wanted to.

Then the other day I ran across some nude pictures on my cell phone that she had sent to some guy in California, because he said he would send her a phone, this is killing me, I have had her in counseling, off and on, and she is currently attending.

I also have two other children at home a 13 year old son, and a 12 year old daughter, I just don't know where to begin...I m thinking I have to quit school, and not let her leave my side, I’m so scared for her, and for the way she is headed, and we don't talk well to each other, im just I don’t know what to do and I cant handle anymore court dates, please what ever advice you can help me with will be GREATLY APPERICIATED!!

Sincerely,

T.R.

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4.4.07

We are going through a VERY rough patch yet again.

Mark how amazing!! We are going through a VERY rough patch yet again. A few weeks ago you sent a newsletter which was (as if written) JUST for me and yes, this newsletter is as if you are talking about me. I love you news and help.

I have not had the emotional energy to write to you. Today is not going to be much better, as I have to call the school, this morning as they no longer want Deanne at the school. We have had 2 meetings with the school and they have been fairly good but yesterday Deanne mucked up again and they no longer want her there. I need to understand the whole picture from the school. Not sure I'll be too strong.

I will sit down a speak to you next week as we are on school holidays then.

I thank you.

T.

www.MyOutOfControlTeen.com

She slapped her dad right in the face...


My teen is 15 and doesn't listen to any house rules, wants to party, and go out with friends, always angry, disobeys constantly, slapped her dad right in the face, she left the house 1 week ago yesterday, and is staying at her boyfriend’s and her friend’s houses. Will not speak to either me or her dad. Will not come home, and police will not help. I saw her at school yesterday to review her absences and she told me she hated me and I didn't belong there. She said she is quite happy not being home, and will not come back. I am extremely hurt, can't sleep, eat or function. I love her so much, and she won't give me the time of day. Please help.

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He will destroy himself and everyone with him.

I am a grandmother with an out of control teenage grandson. My daughter is at her end all that I read on your website is like my grandson. We don’t know what to do next. He is under a psychiatrist, who has put him on medication, which is not working. If we do not get some kind of help soon, he will destroy himself and everyone with him.

A devoted Grandmother

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2.4.07

I’m at my wits end.

Hi… can anyone give me some advice? I’m at my wits end. I have twin boys that most of the time get on… one is quite a happy child and loves being cuddled and loves playing with other children. The other is very moody and has become very aggressive over the last month or so. He doesn’t like to share his toys with other kids and seems to like playing on his own a lot. When he is on his own with me he is a lovely child but things are getting worse and he is becoming very aggressive with his brother and everyone else. Any suggestions would be very welcome. I’m doing everything I can one on one with him trying time outs and reward charts. I don’t no what else to do so if anyone can help please do.

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