Online Parent Support Chat

24.10.07

On-line course...

Dear Dr. Askins, Dr. Hansen, Marissa Rosoff & the Burbank Outreach Center support team & fellow scout leaders,

We want to thank you for taking the time in helping us take a proactive approach to helping our son, C___'s situation. You are probably aware we have been seeking therapeutic support for Cody & our family off and on for a few years.

Over this time C___ has demonstrated his ability to perform well at school, become a Life Scout, helpful as a lifeguard, camp counselor, water-polo player, and this summer represented Burbank as an exchange student through Sister Cities in OTA Japan. Although it certainly was and is currently a rough road, we have been able to stay on track and take baby steps, until now.

Coming up with a proper diagnosis and treatment has taken us down many roads all leading to different therapies, parent ed classes, including Jayne Major's course www.breakthroughparentingservices.org/profile.htm. Through countless hours of research & phone calls we have discovered the different levels of support are dependent on insurance, out of pocket expenses, including potentially selling our home and putting him in a residential treatment center with no guarantees of a positive outcome. Needless to say quality intervention has been hard to find.

Recently we found an on-line course by Mark Hutten called MY OUT OF CONTROL TEEN.

In addition to therapy it seems the most helpful and pragmatic approach so far. We wanted to share with you where we are in the course so we are all on the same page in helping our son & family through this crisis.

20.10.07

Everything i have read fits...

I am the mother of a 7 year old girl. She has ADHD, not medicating at this time. Since she has started school at the age of 4 has been very hard. In 1st grade she did very well. 2nd grade was different story, she was removed from one school after only one month, after destroying the classroom (throwing chairs, ripping papers off the walls, where the other children had to be taken out so they would not get hurt). she was suspended for a week then moved to another school. There she had good days n bad. now that she is in second grade days have gotten worse. they send home a control chart (red lights-bad day, yellow-for ok, n green for doing a great job) lately its been bad. calls home from the teacher, red lights for hitting, swearing, taking off her shoes and socks and throwing them, running out off the classroom. everything i have read fits this. am i right or wrong? Im just looking for more information and insight.

==> More On Oppositional Defiant Disorder

18.10.07

She refuses to see anyone...

I am trying to get my 15 year old daughter assessed. She refuses to see anyone. I believe she is ODD and fits all criterias. I also have a 17 year old Son with AS. He was improperly diagnosed till the age of 12. Now with my help and alot of support, he is doing great. Any support for my 15 year old Defiant daughter would be helpful. I am not a doctor therefore, cannot make the proper diagnosis. There is a history of Tourettes Syndrome, OCD & Autism on her fathers side.

Online Parent Support

17.10.07

ADHD/ODD Son

hi,

my 16 yr old son has extreme adhd, odd.he smokes mirijuana daily and drinks alcohol frequently.extremely aggressive and violent, having attacked my 2 teenage sons, husband and myself (broken foot). he has caused several thousands of dollars of damage to our property, also steals, dealings with police etc.we now live in fear of him every day as he goes psycho at the smallest decision he isn't happy with. he no longer attends school and can't find a job.i have kicked him out a few times but comes back with total diisregard to us. i cannot send him anywhere as he is only 16. things are v serious here.

==> Here's Help

14.10.07

Fish Oil Cures Anger, Lying, Stealing? Not Likely!

my 16 y/o is totally out of control and threatening my marriage. He has been in a one year lock up residential program that did no good. He has been diagnosed wth ODD. His father was bipolar, psychotic and dead at 44. He has taken fish oil sporadically off and off. Would a dose of five caps a day, about 1 gm of DHA a day, consistently help with his anger outbreaks, lying and stealing? Thanx.

More on fish oil for...

Online Parent Support

11.10.07

Son refuses to get out of bed...

My son refuses to get out of bed and go to school every single morning. He keeps threatening me that he is going to kill my pet cat. He uses very bad language and sneaks out of my home in the middle of the night. I try very hard to kill him with kindness and try to get him to make deals with me to cooperate and follow rules but nothing works! He is ruining my business because of all the time I have to take off just to take care of him. He just got kicked out of military school. I am EXHAUSTED, DEPRESSED, GAINED 30 LBS. FROM THE STRESS, AND FEEL LIKE I AM GOING OUT OF MY MIND.

My Out-of-Control Teen

9.10.07

This phase is sheer hell...

Hi! I am interested in purchasing your book, but I was wondering if there is anything in it concerning dealing with the "silent treatment" from teens? My husband and I are at our wit's end, so to speak. We love our 15-year-old dearly, but these past few months have been horrible! And I'm concerned because my husband helped me to raise our son from when he was a baby up until now, and our son is exhibiting some of the same traits that his biological father exhibited when he was in college, an unusual stubbornness and obstinance.

His biological father chose not to be a part of his son's life when our son was a baby, and I always felt grateful for that because he was abusive to me verbally and at times physically when I was in college, and I didn't want my son to come up thinking that that was normal behavior. But I hate to say it, it creeps my husband and I out here lately when he decides to do the "silent treatment" number after we have disciplined him(not shouted) about doing this or that. He is very smart in the sciences, but his obstinance is keeping him from making the As and Bs that he is very capable of making. But above grades, even, I want him to grow up and know that we are always here for him, and I've vocalized this to him how many times?

I am exhausted, and I hate to admit it to myself, even, but resentful inside. I am 37 years old and still young. I came from an abusive home, and I left when I was 18, and I pulled myself up by my bootstraps with the help of God, great friends, etc., and when I see my son who has it all -- two loving parents, a house, people who believe in him -- as awful as it sounds, I feel resentful inside. He has been aware of how I grew up dirt poor and how I worked extremely hard when I was a single mother, and Lord knows, I was happy to. I loved that boy more than anything. But I love him enough to use tough love if necessary, and I guess after the pleadings and yes, now and then, the shouting when we're at our wit's end, we don't know what to do, anymore? Military school in Front Royal, Virginia?

He's not doing drugs, and he can be very respectful, but he's not getting enough sleep lately because he's been staying up, and I know all too well how that can make people feel ornery. It's just it's been plain ornery, and I hate to say it, he's been acting like a stranger. We've stayed up to try to make sure he gets to bed. He sighs if we try to help him. I just don't know.

I know adolescents go through up and down, but right now, this phase is sheer hell.

Thanks for allowing me to get this out of my system, and again, I'm seriously considering buying your book. Maybe there are tips that could help us out in our situation. We do love him, and we know the years go by fast. I don't want the rest of these high school years to be stormy.

My Out-of-Control Teen

8.10.07

We are so worried...

My husband are at our wits end with our teenage son d___ who will be 16 years old on 30th october. ONE MINUTE HE IS KIND AND LOVING AND THE NEXT HE IS SO HATEFUL, rude, abusive, foul mouthed and so hurtful with the things he says. He doesn’t like school, is lazy and has actually stole money from my husband’s wallet yesterday but we think he has done this previously. He lies constantly and when he has done something bad and we chastise him he goes into an angry tantrum. We tell him we love him to bits regularly. Recently he told us that he would rather die than live with us. We are so worried and just don’t know what to do.

Online Parent Support

2.10.07

What do I do?

My 16 and 14-year-old sons do whatever they want, whenever they want. I feel I've been a pretty good parent, available to them, providing for them, listening to them, etc. but they're now out of control and I cant' stop them. If I tell them they're grounded, they walk out the door anyway, they smoke in the house without regard to my rules, they let their friends smoke in my house, they're gone sometimes for hours without asking permission to go, the swear at me, call me names and ignore my requests for chores to be done. They are both also smoking pot pretty regularly. They've been in counseling to no avail. I'm seriously on the edge of my seat every day all day. As of tonight I'm so tired of it I've completely ignored them and they've walked in and out of the house with their friends, simply scavenging for food, leaving messes wherever they go, talking on the phone, etc. Neither of them has said a word to me all night. I want to crawl under a rock and die. It seems like such a silly question given the circumstances, but what do I do?

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How can I handle my teenage daughter...

I need to know how I can handle my teenage daughter (14 years) who seems very manipulative and has created a situation where my wife and I are constantly arguing, very specially on issues relating to my daughters Time management which is bad and her frequent attitude problems and mood swings, and impulsive behaviour, She also is very Lazy and reluctant to get up on Time to go to school, I also have observed that Constantly, she has a habit to get late on purpose and is extremely rude when corrected, specially when spoken to kindly.

She is an only Child, My wife through fear of losing her gives in to Her, Often, it seems My daughter is getting extremely mixed signals and also seems to be confused, even still, she knows how to manipulate one parent against the other to get what she wants.

She is extremely Gifted in Sport, Music but does not Want to practice and train to develop her skills further, does not like to be reminded that she needs to practice, She is not consistent in her school work too, She has a habit of postponing responsibilities so that she could have her time at watching TV and playing around with the computer and spending Hours on the phone chatting with friends, but will not complete or do her chore after that and often does nothing at all but go t sleep well after midnight.

I guess the problem lies in the Parents in this case due to the lack of not agreeing on disciplinary Issues, What on earth can I do, My suggestion to my wife is that we need councelling and that I felt that she is overprotecting our daughter but She refuses suggesting that it is I that needs Councelling and not her and the daughter.

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