Online Parent Support Chat

14.4.08

"Go away dad, you're annoying me..."

My situation have become so desperate that I would up in hospital last week with what my doctor suspected was the beginnings of a heart attack. I have twin 14yo nightmare girls. I am divorced but the girls are living with me nearly full time. We live about 10 miles from the city but the girls are drawn to the city like magnets.

I live in Brisbane (Australia) which like any other major city in Australia is a dangerous place especially at night.

My daughters refuse to believe that they are in danger even though one witnessed 3 bashings in one day. Her answer was "I know lots of people and I've never heard of anyone getting raped or stabbed. The pigs are stupid and don't know anything. Or I have never seen a rapist and I've been in the city lots of times."

We have school holidays at the moment and this is a catalogue of what has happened in the last week

Daughter 1
Day 1. Took a day off school and disappeared from her mothers care. I got a phone call at midnight asking me to pick her up from a very dark and deserted shopping centre
Day 2. Walked out of her mothers place and refused to listen to requests to stay home
Day 3. Was picked up by the police for drunk & disorderly. Blood alcohol was 0.29
Day 4. Walked out of my home and disappeared. Refused to come home. Stayed with unknown people. Refused to answer her cell phone
Day 5. Was informed by sister that I was in hospital but she made no attempt to contact me
Day 6. Again refused to come home.
Day 7. Went out again despite my protests and refused to come home. Had to pick her up from the other side of town (she was walking down a main road with a friend) at 10:45pm.

Daughter 2
Similar to #1 but to a lesser degree. She has calmed down a bit but still very rebellious.

One has admitted to being sexually active but don't know about the other yet.

Neither has any interest in school and both have been truant/suspended for a total of 14 days in the 1st month of school.

Both girls have a very deep seated anger which boils over in an instant and I believe that they have serious mother issues as she doesn't really care about them (Daughter 1 have bashed by her mother last year). To the mother they are just a source of income in the form of child support. The mother refuses to contribute ANY money to support them even though they are living with me 99%. Apart from food the mother refuses to give/buy them anything and tells them when they ask to "go ask Dad. It's his responsibility"

Daughter 1 asked her mum last week to pick her up from a friends place (about a 15 min drive). Mothers answer was " I don't know where that is. You got there by yourself so you can get home by yourself"

My problem is that nothing seems to bother the girls. Take things from them and they don't care. I can't prevent them from leaving the house as the laws in Australia are so f%#&ed up that I can be charged for assault if I physically restrain the kids.

If I try to talk to them the answer is "go away dad you're annoying me" This response is for any conversation almost to the extent of when I ask them what they would like for dinner. Neither will talk about anything and both refuse to have any councelling.

I will persevere with your methods but I was wondering if you could offer any quick advice from a parent who has been in a similar position especially in the area of discipline.

They are beautiful girls and I am so afraid that something terrible will happen to them.

My Out-of-Control Teens

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