Online Parent Support Chat

21.6.08

The pre-school director says they try to “redirect” him (I hate that term)...

I have a 4 & ½ year old boy who is constantly in trouble for one reason or another in pre-school, either from hitting, kicking, ignoring directions, constantly saying “no…’’ You name it…but it only seems to happen at school.

When he first started, he was great. He had a wonderful teacher that was very welcoming and warm to the kids, so he did fine. He then was transferred to another room, only b/c they expanded the rooms, and the teacher was later subsequently dismissed just b/c she didn’t know how to handle kids, and that’s when the problem started. The pre-school director says they try to “redirect” him (I hate that term), and that doesn’t work. They put him in time-out…that doesn’t work (cause that just gives him time to plot his next move). He does not swear, and if he hears a swear word, he immediately says that’s a bad word. Also, we have discussions about listening to your teachers, keeping hands and feet to himself, and he agrees…just doesn’t follow through. He’s very affectionate…he gets frustrated easily but is not an angry child.

However, he has no intellectual problems…He knows his shapes, colors, numbers, the alphabet, says words a third grader would use, he can count in Spanish, knows other words in Spanish, potty trained himself when he was a little over 2 years old, dresses himself, draws almost whole people as opposed to stick people, etc…

At home, he’s obedient (for the most part, meaning sometimes he shows resistance but nothing that’s not immediately fixed). He does not hit, kick, bite other kids in the neighborhood or if we’re at the park. He doesn’t focus at school, but if we’re doing something he likes, whatever it is, he can sit there until the projects complete.

So…I’m wondering if he had an initial bad experience at the school and acts out b/c he’s learned, “learned helplessness,” and figures he’s not getting positive attention, so no matter what he does he’ll just always be in trouble…

SO…I don’t think he has all the classic signs of ODD or ADHD; could it just possibly be the environment at the pre-school? When he’s with babysitters, he never has any problems, and there are even a couple “teachers” at his school that never have any problems with him beyond typical things that aren’t corrected. In addition, when he comes, the kids love him…

My Out-of-Control Child



Thank you.

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