Online Parent Support Chat

25.6.08

She not only had two of her close girlfriends over, but a number of guy friends as well...

What I am currently struggling with (and what brought me to your sight to begin with) was an appropriate consequence for her recent behavior. My husband and I went to my parents for Father's day. My daughter was to spend the weekend with her Father. Her Father gave her permission to spend the night at a friends, and as per our agreement, she is to call home from the friends house phone, not cell. Her Father did not call the parent to verify that she was there, nor did I know about this arrangement.

When we returned home Monday, it was obvious that our house had been used for a party. This was a ground rule that has been clearly established for a very long time, NO one is to be in the house when we are not here, not even her. She is to have all her stuff with her at her Fathers, if something is needed, she may return with her Father and get the item. She not only had two of her close girlfriends over, but a number of guy friends as well. Unfortunately, other boys showed up that were not close friends, and as you can imagine, things did get out of hand, and some items were broken (she has to pay for fixing/replacing).

I took away ALL privileges, and I have not given a time frame or way to get them back. That is where I am stuck. I have her phone, she cannot socialize with her friends. She can only go to summer workout, SAT tutorials and work. It has been a week, and her attitude and behavior towards me has gotten horrible. I know I need to set an end date for the punishment, my first reaction was the whole summer, because I felt so violated. I don't know how she can earn my trust back or when I end the grounding?

My Out-of-Control Teen

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