Online Parent Support Chat

22.7.08

He has basically always been a challenge...

On your website promoting your online course, you ask 2 questions at the very bottom:


1. What is your toughest parenting challenge currently?

2. What other problems are you experiencing with your child right now?

The answer to your 1. Question is our 17 ½ yr old son. He has basically always been a challenge. Now that he has a license, he thinks he can our car (he has no money to buy one on his own) whenever he wants and go wherever he wants, with whoever he wants, and come home whenever he wants. He goes to steal the keys and just takes off. He refuses to answer his cell phone when he sees it is us calling because he doesn't want to give any indication of where he might have gone. He tries to sneak into R rated movies, and who knows what else? He won't accept punishment (ie, no driving privileges or taking away the phone for a time)--he puts up a fight like a 2 year old.
The anwer to #2: I will say up front that my husband and I are Christians. I can't, without a doubt, say that our oldest son is. He claims he is, but by his attitude and actions, one would think not. He doesn't want to go to church anymore because our church isn't "entertaining enough". He has no remorse for anything he does, from hurting his siblings or his parents or putting holes in walls and doors at our house. He is naturally a very angry kid. And, unfortunately, his two younger siblings see his actions and attitudes and think it's ok for them to act the same way as well (and they are also teens). It always comes full circle. Our oldest does not want to listen to anyone or take advice from anyone unless it is a friend who thinks the same way as him. I'm sorry to say though that we put limits on our children because we love them. No, we don't want them out at all hours of the night doing whatever, and yes, we want them to turn off the stupid cell phone and actually sleep at night! But most of all, we want to be able to trust our kids--something we've never been able to do. My husband can't even go out on a "date night" and expect our children to obey while we are gone--it doesn't happen. We've tried just taking a short walk, and by the time we come home, it's a disaster.

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