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15.7.08

He HATES everything and everyone when he doesn’t get his way...

My son is 5yrs. Old and will be turning 6 in December. We have had problems from day one. I told my mother in a conversation last night…I have never heard of a child coming into the work angry, but I swear he did. From day one…he, as a baby, was inconsolable. You couldn’t hold him as a baby and cuddle him up close. He would become so rigid and hard. I thought he was going to make me crazy…I even began taking anti-depressants as a result. I couldn’t help feeling I was doing something wrong. After all, isn’t a mother supposed to be able to calm the child down when no one else can. Not Him. He didn’t want to be held. He cried 24-7. My mother disclosed to me last night that she wondered, back then, if he may have been suffering from autism.

As he has gotten older, his temper tantrums have not stopped. He HATES everything and everyone when he doesn’t get his way. I have a 9 year old daughter who feels the effects of his actions because he doesn’t get into trouble for the same things she does. When in truth, I know he should be punished, but I honestly don’t want to have to deal with his attitude when he gets punished. I used to spank him every time he threw a fit, now I just send him to his room so I don’t have to listen to him or watch him, and instruct him not to come out until he changes his attitude. While he is in there, he is screaming, throwing toys…the list goes on. But when he comes out he is over it and says he is sorry for throwing a fit. He constantly talks back. He wakes up angry and we all go to bed angry. I am really emotionally spent. I often wonder if I had held him and loved him more, when he was a baby, would we be going through this now. My mother pointed out last night, he wouldn’t let me. Honestly, I hope we can fix this. My worst fear is that he will grow up as angry as he is now and abuse his wife or children. I don’t know if I could handle that.

My Out-of-Control Child

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