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31.7.08

He is the psychotic and vicious monster that haunts our household...

I came across your program tonight after a particulary difficult day with my eleven year old son. I have to agree that the world wide web is filled with information about the problems origins and manifestations, but offers little sound advice in regard to effectiveness. I have honestly "tried everything" to help my son in regard to his ever increasing unacceptable behaviors. Hell, I have a masters degree in special education. I have excellent behavior management in my classroom, but seem to be a complete failure with my own child.
My son is a loving and wonderful person as much of the time as he is the psychotic and vicious monster that haunts our household. I truely seem to have given birth to a Dr. Jeckle/Mr. Hyde. He was born with a neurological disorder called "microcephally" and struggles with academics, social skills, and motor skills. He is intelligent and remembers anything he hears that is of interest or useful to him. I cannot use his disabilities as an excuse for him not knowing any better anymore. He has also been diagnosed as developmentally disabled, ADHD, ODD, bipolar, anxiety disorder, depressed, as we have wandered through the spectrum of services available to us as he has wandered through his childhood years.
I do not have him on medication, and do not consider that an option. (just getting an antibiotic into him when he is desperately ill can take a level of physical force that hurts my soul---I could not do that---he is almost as large as I am and very strong) I have spent a great deal of time modifying his diet with a small amount of success, but cannot keep those modifications consistent due to meals at his fathers, the school and child care provider settings.
In the last two years he has become increasingly manipulative, openly defiant, dishonest, verbally and physically abusive. He lives with me and is my only child. He also spends several nights a week with his father in a different household. I seem to notice the worst behaviors upon the return from his fathers house. I will also note that his father was not an easy soul to live with and was always very aggressive and demanding.
And then, here is the real killer, the one that leaves me at loss....it is in my house that the majority of his behaviors present themselves. I do more for this little boy than any other soul in his life. I am at loss as to how I can be failing him so miserably that he feels he must physically hurt me. At school he is fawning and over compliant most of the time and has very low self esteem due to lack of friends and struggles with basic skills. Homework is the devils own work in regard to what it does to our home life.

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