Online Parent Support Chat

14.7.08

Kick Him Out

Wednesday night I told Chris if did not come home I would be calling the police and filing a run away report. He came home and was arguing etc. called me a b******* etc. and went to his room. In the course of his arguing, (we stayed poker faced did not yell etc) he was taking out money and fiddling with it which I that was strange and something was up. He said that we should be allowing him to smoke pot and to keep quiet about it and then he went to his room.

Yesterday my husband called me at work and there was money missing from his other wallet where he keeps his working money. When he asked Chris, Chris said yes he took it and that I was yelling and screaming and telling him I was going to kick him out. I have been doing the steps none of this happened.

Yesterday, I called the juvenile police sargent and he said by placing a charge on Chris for taking the car he would get a slap on the hand, go to the John Howard Society see a movie etc. and that would be it. His suggestion was to kick him out.

When I got home from work, Chris came home from his work and demanded the lap top computer. Demanded the keys to my car where he thinks the lap top computer is. I said know, he was yelling out the windows (with little children on the street to hear his f** this f**) calling me a f*** b***** I continued to say that I was not arguing, he said he was going out and I said you are grounded and that he went out on Thursday even though he was grounded and that we will start the clock again. He was getting very aggressive and slamming his fist on the table. He told me that he has listened to the stories that his dad and I had bad childhoods and that we wanted a different family life for us but that he did not care he does not want a better home life. I am to keep my mouth shut and let him come home stoned and to keep doing pot and that he does very little. According to his friend he is doing alot more and I know that something has snapped in him. ONly once this week did I see the old Chris. One of the things in your program talk about earning what the child wants, I have done this all along. Being an only child he has not been giving everything, that he had to earn what he wanted and we would help him out ie. taxes etc. He did hang around kids that everything is given to them.

He was getting more aggressive with me and I started to dial the police and he stopped me. I told him this had to stop that by doing what he is doing is making it impossible to live with and that he should look to finding his own place. He then phoned his friend's mother to see if she still had this room to rent out. There are 2 boys in this family, we have known them from church, cub scout etc. the older boy Chris hated because he picked on him and was a bully to him, the other boy is alittle on the slow side, Chris started hanging with these guys last summer and continues to hang with them. He joined the boy scout troop for his age with these boys. The other one heads up the group, who would have thought by him joining up with the club that there would be this turn of events. He had been in scouts for years, but started doing more soccer. Chris has been MVP for soccer for years, won the leadership award, last June received the Engineering Award at high school. When he was over at house last year for a swim the Dad (who is involved with Scouts as well) was heckling Chris. Calling him pretty boy, pretty boy to his face and out the window. He told me that he wasn't going back. Alex who is the neighbour to these boys convinced Chris to hang out with this group. Tyler tells me that this group of friends is going no where. Chris does not drink, he hates beer etc. He said he tried pot last year and truly loves it. On Chris's wall on facebook the older boy Andrew the one Chris thought was a bully has asked for his $110 for the liquor and food that he owes him. At Christmas, Chris told me that he needed Dad to go over and straighten Andrew out for him, I said talk to Dad when he gets home, he will help you. Later when I asked him if he talked to Dad, he said not to worry about it.

I phoned the mother of these boys to talk to her, last week I phoned her and told her Chris would probably becoming over to her house and that I had a place for him when we went on vacation. This week I phoned her when Chris was out all night and was suppose to be at her place to let her know that the kids were letting the door open and that he was not showing up. She told me that anything I had to say to her she was going right back and telling Chris that she keeps know secrets in her home. When she told her kids about me phoning she said that she was going right back and telling Chris if we met for coffee that she was telling him what I said and she also told them that she really told me off.

Last night when Chris was getting very angry and banging his fist on the table and demanding the computer and told me that he was going to get the keys from me and I started to dial the police. I used the steps things are going to change, we made some mistakes etc. He said who calls the police on their kid, that we are not to come to his funeral, he wants nothing to do with you guys. He phoned the mother over there and then the one son the bother boy Mark came over and he got his stuff. He told Mark not to talk to me, not to talk to that b*****, Mark said to me I didn't know any of this. Chris gave me the finger as he was bringing stuff to the front door. Any time before if he said anything that was not nice or alittle hurtful he would come back and apology and say that he was sorry even when he told me that he know he was still grounded. When he was taking the stuff, I ie his bedding etc. I said to Mark can you pass me that pillow because that is mine, he had asked me if he could have this pillow a couple of years ago to use because it is so soft, actually it was a pillow I have had since I was a kid. He told me that I could have the pillow when I gave him the computer back. I had bought a lap top 2 years ago for the family use and when Chris was gone out of the house for 5 weeks he sold it and borrowed the money from his friend and got another one.

I told me as he was packing that he did not want me calling people up any of his friends parents etc. and talking to them. I said I would not be calling at all. Last time left, I was calling Lorrie all the time and they were checking her cell phone so he knew. I would have to contact him and he would go for supper with us and to counselling and would be very angry. When he did come home, he said it was because dad was sad, then he said he came home because dad told him I was crying. He lasted 2 days and then he stayed out all night on a school night. I told him that he was not etc. I locked the door and told him that he was out until Saturday when both dad and I were home to talk. He showed up, but it has been down hill from there. Last night he was bringing up the fact that I did not let him stay at the house when we went to New York City and that everyone else's parents have done this and he took the car to get back at me. I was suppose to let him smoke pot all summer and have some fun and not say anything.

When he was leaving I said the steps made some mistakes, that things would change etc. and I told him that the door was open if he wanted to straighten up and fly right, we were here. He has this smart ass attitude on like he has had for months and I waved to him and he waved back.

I still have the lap top.

My Out-of-Control Teen

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