Online Parent Support Chat

22.8.08

He over compensates for the helplessness, loss, guilt and fear of losing all contact with his girls by over indulging them...

I am looking for some resources to help my husband with his relationship with his daughters. He has a very difficult and somewhat unique situation which is why I would like to know if you cover these topics. He has 4 girls ranging in age from 6-18 and his ex-wife is horrible. She is neglectful of the children, encourages and participates often in their bad behavior, and not only bad mouths him all the time, she leaves all the discipline and 'tough issues' to him and then goes against his handling of the situations further damaging his relationship with the girls. We live over 80 miles from them so the time he has with them is limited and she tries to manipulate situations to reduce contact further. He over compensates for the helplessness, loss, guilt and fear of losing all contact with his girls by over indulging them and allowing them to manipulate and emotionally abuse him, in my opinion, hurting the relationship even further. He is increasingly distressed over the state of the relationships and hopeless of the future of the relationships and his daughters' futures since they are truly becoming terrible people. Does your program address these issues for divorced dads:

--overcoming the bad feelings his girls have about him due to their mother's portrayal of him
--setting limits to make their relationship not dependent on how much money he spends on them or how many things he gets them
--helping his children and disciplining them from afar

We have faced or are facing issues like:

-failing school
-refusal to work and then making him feel guilty when he won't/can't pay for things
-withholding affection, love and visits if he doesn't give them what they want
-refusal to honor payments on things that they con him into buying and becoming nasty and -mean when he tries to get them to honor their commitments
-constant lying
-very poor hygiene and personal care
-lack of care for others and pets
-stealing
-drugs
-bad friends
-among many other daily trials!

My husband loves his children desperately and seeing their lives deteriorate is killing him. I want to help him to right these relationships and for him to help these girls get on the right track to have a chance at good lives.

My Out-of-Control Teen

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