Online Parent Support Chat

23.8.08

We laid down the law and took his driving privileges away...

About 6 weeks ago, my husband and I found out that our 15 year old son was sneaking out of the house at night while we were asleep. He was meeting up with some older boys - 17, 19 and 20 year olds that we have never even met. He admitted that he smoked pot with them. In discussion with him he has said that some of them did other stuff like ecstacy or crack. He has said that he would never do that but thinks pot is not dangerous.
When we discovered this - we laid down the law and took his driving privileges away (he was able to drive to/from school with restricted license before this). We also grounded him, took his cell phone away, and closed his bank account and put his money in an account that he cannot get to without us. He has a part time job working for my husband's business and makes good money. I have told him if he wants to buy something, I will get the money from his account and it has to be something he buys at the store with me (not going to drugs).
He has said that he quit the drugs and we are planning to test him but thought that it stayed in your system for 4 to 6 weeks. I have heard that the tests from places like Walmart or CVS are not accurate and I want to know if you can recommend the best way to do this. I have talked with his pediatrician and he has said we could bring him into the office for drug tests which would be the most accurate. However, I think I will need to test him regularly for awhile at least.
Then, we recently gave him a contract to sign to gain back some of his freedom. My son agrees to all the items on the contract except the one where we state that he cannot hang out with people over 18 or kids who do drugs. He says he is not giving up his friends but would not do drugs with them and would come home if they were doing drugs. We don't feel that we can give in on this - so we are at a standstill. (one item to also note is I got a new cell phone for him to use when not at home and I can locate him with GPS and I have told him that I will know where he is)
He is unhappy all the time and mopes around since he cannot go out with these "friends". He says he might as well do drugs, not do homework, etc if he can't do anything that he wants.

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