Online Parent Support Chat

25.9.08

He does not listen to what we say and thinks that he can do what he wants...

My name is Joel Morffi and I live in Roseville, Ca w/ my girlfriend Melanie Reese and her 2 children Gabe(11) and Isabel(9).

Melanie and I have been together for almost 2yrs now and I have known the kids for about 1.5yrs. We are having a great deal of problems w/ Gabe. He does not listen to what we say and thinks that he can do what he wants. He will usually start yelling frantically and even strike at us. His mother is very passive but I have a temper and dont put up w/ it. It's almost like he is bi-polar.

We need help. Tonight his mother told him to get in the shower and he wanted to eat, he said that he wasn't gonna do that that he was gonna do what he wants and that he was gonna eat and then take a shower. After 45min of being home and doing nothing his mother told him that it was time for bed. He went to the kitchen and told her that he was eating. She sent him to his room after he threw a fit. When I got home he was lying in his doorway w/ a blanket on him. I asked him if he had showered and he didn't respond so I took the blanket off of him and he started yelling and kicking and screaming so I lifted him up by the the arm and started walking him to the shower when he started punching me and kicking me. I then held him on the floor so he couln't hit me and started talking to him. Asking him what the problem was and why he was upset and he didn't answer me, so I started telling him that he can't act like this because he has everything that a little boy could think of. He goes to a great school, has all the toys, plays football, never starves and lives in a nice place, plus we take great care of him. I think went to get him up and he freaked out again, so we put him in the shower and he proceeded to yell and scream so his mother came in the shower. He then started to yell and scream and kick again, so I came back in and went to lift him up to take him to his room when he started cursing and kicking and screaming again, so I spanked him twice on his butt. He then got up and started yelling again and cursing at his mother so she slapped him in the side of the mouth(Not very hard) then we put him in his room and he went to bed. I then went in his room later to talk to him about the whole thing and started yelling and screaming again so I left.

I have a feeling that he was upset about his father because he is not around, or at least only when he wants to be. The kids haven't talked to him in about a month. They have tried to text and call him and nothing. We had mediation the other day to get full custody of the children so we can try to help Gabe and take him to see a psychiatrist but we couldn't because we only have 85% custody of him. He didn't even show up to the hearing or answered his phone.

I don't know if this is it because he doesn't always have problems, just when he does he really freaks out like a crazy person.

We don't know what to do and we really need help. I don't think that we make the situations any better because his mother his very passive and I get angry w/ him and we argue back and forth like children and then he will get physical. I know that arguing w/ him is not the thing to do but I feel that he should be spanked because that's the way that I was raised and I feel that it worked but I can't do that w/ him because he is not my son. I only spank him when he hits me.( In the 1.5yrs of being his guardian I have only spanked him twice and it sucks, I feel guilty and bad for him, it's the worst feeling)

My Out-of-Control Child

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