Online Parent Support Chat

18.9.08

My husband and i parent very differently...

I have 2 kids, a boy almost 16 and a daughter just 14.i recently started my daughter in therapy. we all did some family therapy last year; my husband attended 2 sessions out of say 8-10. i felt as if our kids were just not being kind and accepting of one another. the judement, the discord, the frustration etc. come to find out my son was being bullied at school for over a year,so when he came home he dogged on his sister...pecking order. the bullying has stopped as my husband and i intervened at school.

my daughter has discovered boys,makeup and hair.her grades have dropped each marking period for the past 3 quarters.she has a hard time keeping friends for too long. she got into a lot of trouble with the Internet and cell phone over the holidays. it is just too much for her to manage at her age. unfortunately she has made some poor decisions and her reputation at school has taken a small beating. her not making the modified basketball in oct/nov was a blow to her psyke. she had made the team last year.

my husband and i parent very differently, so much so that it is causing a lot of marital problems.for example, i wanted my husband to express to my daughter that her clevege showing is not appropriate at school or for that matter any location other than the beach at her age, he responds by saying this is the way kids dress today, she is trying to fit in.like i don't know this??

lastly, her whole body image obsession is also an area of concern. i was bulemic for many years.i try to impress upon her the importance of health not being thin. i teach fitness part time and my husband is a recreational tri athlete when he can get in the game. my husband has come a long way, but still likes to drink a glass or 2 of wine a few nights a week.

how damaging is mine and my husbands lack of symetry in parenting to my daughter and for that matter our son?
my son's biggest hurdle right now is that he can't stop picking his face and body, but he is devilishly handsome. he runs track and cross country and is prone to acne.

we all have something!

how can i get to my daughter who is so disrespectful to me to be an obidient child who cares also about what is going on in her home and not just about her world?

i recently enrolled her in vioce lessons to build her esteem, she likes it!

they are my world and i am just trying to help them make better choices than i did.

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