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She comes across arrogant and thoughtless...

I have a nine year old daughter. From her very first birthday where she managed to make everyone at her party cry due to being over powering and possessive of her toys, I have had nothing but heart ache trying to bring her up to be happy and well adjusted. My life have been filled worrying about so many things – allergies, bedwetting, encopresis, audio processing delay (mild), flat feet; weight gain…the list goes on. I have addressed many of these issues and after a recent visit from my mum-she very tactfully made me aware that I am doing her no favours. After a good cry and candid self reflection, I realized that I needed help to help my daughter.

A brief history--

My daughter is the youngest of 3 girls. Her older sisters are 13 & 16 and have no issues. They are well mannered and excel at school and in their personal lives. From a very early age ‘J’ has not been able to socialise peacefully with other children. She makes friends easily and quickly but is so possessive that problems arise due to intenseness and lack of awareness of those around her. ‘J’ is attracted to certain children but then manages to alienate others near by as she seems to cut them out and ignore them. She comes across arrogant and thoughtless. The truth is ‘J’ is very caring and I don’t think she sets out to do this. There are always social issues at school and she often sits on her own and plays on her own. As a baby ‘J’ was very sensitive to noise and has always been oppositional. She wears me down and no never means no to her. She can push all day to get what she wants. ‘J’ is not violent and isn’t aggressive now, but she always has issues with us and her siblings and I always feel like I’m on her back – not consistently enough and am either too hard or too lenient (mum’s observations). She can be disrespectful and doesn’t like to help with chores and often doesn’t feel responsible for her actions. Part of her personality is that she asks a lot of questions, many that are obvious and she knows the answer to. It gets very frustrating because she doesn’t think before she speaks….& often says very inappropriate things! More recently ‘J’ has put on weight. It seems to be a boredom thing. She is very active and swims three times a week, plays tee-ball and dances. I think it’s just part of her obsessive personality.

My Out-of-Control Child

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