Online Parent Support Chat

4.10.08

I would like to just "kick him out "...

I am beginning to think he has antisocial personality except for the fact that he seems to have a large group of friends some of whom he has known for years - they seem average enough teens (he is nineteen now) , and every now and then he has what I call break-through 'nice' moments.

At nineteen he has made a lot of bad decisions since leaving school - esp with money - but it is more the lying (just about anything you care to mention), manipulation (I'm quite aware of this behaviour) and stealing (money - if left lying around - always vigilant about this now)and bully boy abusive behaviour at home when challenged or requested to do something. In fact he almost mocks me when I challenge him about his behaviour and then becomes accusatory towards me.....along with this he has burnt some pretty big bridges for himself - some of which he recognises and regrets.

He pays no board and takes no responsibility for pretty much anything around the house - its just him and me with older sis at UNI. I am terrified to leave the dog for 5 days on a brief holiday (one of few as I have been a single Mum, mortgage etc...) in case he does not look after him - have asked a friend and my sister to check in as I don't trust him.

I would like to just "kick him out " which is what everyone else says I should do, But surely there is a better way - he still needs to right some wrongs, pay his debts and live a bit less of a chaotic existence.

I do not believe he is taking drugs and he denies this emphatically, but sometimes I wonder especially the night he accused me of being an alcoholic and "probably" a "drug-addict"- I rarely drink and never ever have I taken drugs......I have no idea where this came from and was totally shocked when he said it -

I don't believe there is much in my neighbourhood for this age group as it requires him to attend - forget about that - but I am still his Mum and wonder if I can do something to modify this and get on track a bit. What I'm doing now just ain't working! Dad is around and aware and helps when he can but I guess I always come off as though I am the winging mother, you know - "what's he done this time?????"

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