Online Parent Support Chat

12.10.08

Mother's Rant

Its about 4 am Sunday, imp still up! Im so confused and concerned about my daughter’s relationship and mine. She is 16, a cheerleader at her school and into drinking with her friends. The more I monitor her the more she says I hurt her trust in me... she has expressed to me how that she wants a close rel' w/ me but that I use the info she shares w/me about her personal life against her. How I see it, for ex. She tells me she wants to go to parties and alcohol is present...I then say you cant go. Also she shared with me that she likes a guy who has been her good friend for a while, that now they are more than just friends im putting limits on when and where they hang out. She is crying out very emotionally stating she can’t trust me w/ personal info. Distorting me putting limits down because of what she tells me into "using her shared info. against her"..(im probably just not sly enough!)

Drinking is another issue...pictures on her friends myspace of her holding a beer and a shot? And she wants me to trust her????? twisting it around saying that she can’t trust me? This weekend was home coming game and dance. I stayed home from work just to be available because of the likelihood she will try to go to a party. When i gave her time limits and told her she had to come home after no more than 2 hrs (which is totally lenient) of socializing at a supervised-no alcohol party- she argued and argued, cried her makeup off and still contends that i ruined her whole night! I need to learn how to parent...I know its not bad to monitor (she knows im not afraid to talk to other parents) and set limits but maybe my harshness and insecurities are driving a wedge. This existence is truly horrible - our relationship feels so distorted and divided. I work nights and double mandatory shifts as a correctional officer and it’s taking its toll on us. How can I parent a beautiful gregarious, yet argumentative and spoiled teen more constructively? (We are Christian incidentally, but apparently very weak)…

My Out-of-Control Teen

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