Online Parent Support Chat

11.10.08

He doesn't seem to care about his grades...

No matter what I do he doesn't seem to care about his grades. I try the consequences and rewards and he just doesn't put much effort in. His grades aren't horrible but they could easily be better. He is just lazy and doesn't care. So I tried discussing it with him last night to see if he had any suggestions on what might help him. He wouldn't say much. I am wondering if he doesn't care because I care too much? I think he figures no matter what he's not getting A's and I'm going to be mad so why try. I am ready to give him the full responsibility, as it's his future and make him own it. Then maybe he will feel like he has an investment. Does that make sense? I'm not completely stepping out, I'll still be there if he needs me and I'll definitely give him praise but he has to do the work and bear the burden. I'm just afraid that he won't care enough and things could get worse.

I was trying to come to a compromise and he wouldn't offer any suggestions. He's always "afraid" I'm going to get mad at him if he says something. I tried many times to reassure him last night that I wouldn't and I really wanted his opinions but he wouldn't speak. I am aware that comes from many years of me losing my temper and yelling but I am not doing that anymore. I haven't yelled all week and feel good about it. I know it's going to take a long time.

I feel like there are so many issues and problems to address that have been around for years and are going to be hard to handle.

My Out-of-Control Teen

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