Online Parent Support Chat

26.10.08

She remains difficult, at best, to get messages through to...

I have a 15 yr old daughter who has been diagnosed with ODD, previously with General Anxiety Disorder. The anxiety has decreased, the defiance has increased.

She is not violent, a thief or a liar,nor does she smoke or do drugs. However, she is argumentative, judgmental, has a temper, blameful towards others and feels she has it harder than anyone she knows and does not do household chores without great prodding.

She is involved with the church youth group and has a broad base of friends, although, none very close. She very seldom will bring friends over. She has mentioned that she is embarrassed by her father, and some friends are afraid of him.

She has self imposed high academic expectations, and was in a 'gifted education' part time program. She is the youngest of three, her brother is 20, her sister is 17. Both she and her sister seem resentful towards their 'high achieving' brother when he returns from University, and she does get along with her sister, although her sister does not engage in clubs or academics as she does.

She greatly resents the fact that I am a smoker and that I returned to and completed a college program to enable me to return to the work force. I am an Educational Assistant and work with a broad spectrum of Special Need students. I believe she became accustomed to having me available and willing to take care of things at home. My husband was self employed, and has closed business to work for another company.

Considering my line of work, my husband and I have done our best with our 15 yr old. She remains difficult, at best, to get messages through to. I very much feel like the 'bad guy' as I do not want to enable her, nor do I want to push her away. I do believe that she still needs parental guidance to keep herself in check. I have asked the doctor who diagnosed her, how much behaviour is her, how much is teen? Understandably, he was unable to answer.

I am concerned for her and her ability to make good choices for her future.

My Out-of-Control Teen

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