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Son Has ODD Behavior

My 9 year old son is as described in the list for ODD behavior types... to the letter. Tonight we carved a pumpkin {miniature}. He wanted to put a candle in it and I recommended the battery-powered ones we have. Deal. Then he wanted the real candle lit in his bedroom, and I explained we don't have lit candles upstairs due to fire hazard. No Deal, and no agreement to try the battery-powered ones in the room. And so began the tyrade and stopped-up ears. I joined him upstairs and found he had lit the candle with matches he had found in my drawer {we do not smoke, but keep them there for black-outs}. How can I keep our house and all therein safe? It is typical for him to not care about rules and say he does not care, like he did tonight.

My Out-of-Control Child

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