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Out-of-Control Stepson

I am a stepmom to a 12 year old and a just turned 16 year old. As you figured out , of course, their parents are divorced. Dad has the kids mon-wed alternating thursdays. They have lived in our town their whole lives. Always having lots of friends and into extracurricular activities. Recently, My sd came home from over the weekend and told her dad that her and her little brother wanted to switch schools and days to go to the school in their moms school district. Dad of course was like, um no, let me give you some backround. Sd has phenominal grades and is on distinctive honor roll. She participates in many sports and does well. she is in grade 10. the 12 year old gets 100 in things he likes but struggles in things he dont. When we go to pt conferences they say he knows the information when asked, he just doesnt like to write it down. He is very bright and very sweet, dad doesnt blame mom, but mom seems to think its our fault. when dad asked his kids why they would want to change schools, his daughter said there's more "opportunity". He asked what kind and she basically said uhhhh like she didnt know. she swears its something she wants to do and says she is almost 16 and "can make her own decisions" dad of course said, well until your 19 me and your mother have to agree on these decisions and right now im not convinced as to why this would be a good thing. Let me also say that the younger child says he likes his school but the reason he wants to switch is because theres woodshop all year in those schools...seriously??? then he said that he loves going to our house cause his sister cant tell him what to do here. basically sounds like she has control of all aspects at her moms and when she tries to discipline her brother here, dad corrects it and explains that she doesnt need to , thats his job. Let me also add that dad pays for all school lunches, pictures, field trips, yearbooks, school clothes, and my sd just recieved a car in which he paid for and pays insurance for. He holds all health insurance, i hold secondary on him and the kids, we keep all reciepsts, PLUS dad pays mom child support a small amount but still pays her monthly without any crying or whining. They are his kids and he has no problem taking care of them. she doesnt split the costs of anything with him, even though court ordered, and she doesnt have a job. Now, we are going to court on the 14th because she is suing my husband to switch days and switch schools. It is absolutely braking my heart. He thinks its their mother talking, but i dont know. This is ridiculous. It makes me want to leave the situation and i hate feeling like that. I adore my sd and ss and love my husband dearly. He is one of the rare ones that has literally built his life around his children......please please help

My Out-of-Control Stepson

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