Online Parent Support Chat

4.11.08

Son is beyond "out-of-control"...

M ended up spending 7 days in the county jail. He had also racked up 2 counts of retail fraud and possession of "analog" (1 pill) in August that we did not know about until his "home invasion". We did post bail on the home invasion after serving 7 days in jail.

He has chosen his path. He is now skipping school, been suspended, and grades have rapidly declined. He received drug testing, drug counseling, court fines, community service, must receive his HS diploma, 5pm curfew and 1 yr probation for the 2 counts of retail fraud (he stole a $20 set of baseball cards!) He admits to things I could never dream of.

The 2 counts of home invasion are still pending. Well, M received his 1 yr probation with 5pm curfew on 10/22 and has left 5 nights to be gone all night. He is getting into fights on a routine basis, and some even making it onto "youtube". He has gotten angry and smashed a water glass all over the kitchen floor and then left for the night. We don't know where he goes, who with, doing who knows. We have contacted his probation officer, his court appointed attorney and just found out today who the prosecuting attorney will be for the home invasion case--I will talk with her ASAP also. (he by the way has never tested positive on any random drug test).

We fully intend to serve him an eviction notice 30 days before his 18th birthday (in 3 months). We hope he makes it to the next court date so we can get our bond refunded--this sounds awful but we are so tired of his behavior we just want it to be over. We are ready for him to face the natural consequences. We (husband and I) are extremely disillusioned by the judicial system. Why put into place terms of probation that can't be enforced? Our hands are tied and we can do no more. We have to provide him with shelter, food, and clothes. He can come and go as he pleases--it it his "right" to violate his probation. He is to report to PO once per month and alone so he can lie all he wants. He will come back from his "all nighters" with not a word to us. The law in MI is he can come and go as he pleases (at 17) and we have to take him in and provide for him and are responsible for him. We are getting phone calls from friends, acquaintances, teachers, etc. about this child. Both siblings (younger and older) getting approached by friends who have heard about M also.

We go back to court on Monday so hopefully something can be resolved. But the biggest question is since we are "stuck" with this situation for another 3 months how can we make it the most peaceful for our other 2 children and our own sanity?

My Out-of-Control Teen

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