Online Parent Support Chat

9.11.08

We are trying to un-due all the ill-feelings and behaviours of past...

Thank You Mark!

Finding your link in Google could be the one thing that will save this child.

Background and Introduction:

I am Rylies' Grandmother. She is 13 on Dec. 1st. This is the third time she has been removed from her family home. She is the eldest of four children born to my youngest daughter: I have an older daughter with two children of her own. I helped 'deliver' Rylie as her Mother was a teen and resided with me until Rylie turned 2.

Rylie and I share a very strong bond. Over the years, my daughter found it necessary to involve the Children's Aid Society here in Canada to intervene with her 'at risk' child. Frankly, I was shocked! After several attempts at psychologist therapy, numerous drugs, and the entire gamut of social interventions, Rylie was placed with the children's aid in a foster home, far away from her family. Parents took classes and went into extreme scrutiny. Rylie came home, Mom got pregnant and baby brother (now 5), was born. Shortly thereafter, Rylie was sent to a residential treatment and assessment facility for several months. When she came back home, Mom got pregnant with little sister (now 21/2), and all was well until Mom decided to again send Rylie away. She spent a short term with another foster Mom - local this time - and returned home to find Mom was now pregnant with their fourth child, another sister, now 8 months old. Rylie was again forced to leave the family home and this time I insisted she come stay with me and her step-grandfather.

Now we are trying to un-due all the ill-feelings and behaviours of past and intervene at this crucial stage in Rylies' life. She is beautiful, capable of manipulating just about anyone, and very defiant. Negative attention is about the only thing she knows and has learned how to get it and deal with it when she wants. Her behaviour is not that extreme, but non-the-less, inappropriate in social interactions with peers and authority. She needs stability and security and she needs to feel wanted, loved and to gain a sense of belonging in the big picture and the little one. I'm working fast and furiously to catch up on parenting in today's high paced society. I still work. I'm 55, my husband 45. We've been together for 17 years.

I've downloaded and read the lst week's lesson and am very pleased with what I've seen so far. Can't wait to get into the rest but I am showing restraint. The Senior Public School I have Rylie enrolled in is well aware of Rylies' past, her abilities and the tasks at hand. They work with me daily to assist and ensure Rylie's safety and development - socially and intellectually as a progressing student. I'll be sharing some of your information with them. They are great, as I feel you will be as well. We have a great network and a very interesting project to work on. She's 13 going on 19 and emotionally 9 or 10.

So far, I've found encouragement in your teachings. I now feel that I have been on the right track in my thinking, but definitely need the tools you provide. I am sill a quick study. I know I have a lot left to learn and I think I've now found a inspiring teacher in you.

Thank You so much for being there and doing the work you do. I look forward to sharing successes.

Yours truly,

L.

Online Parent Support

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