Online Parent Support Chat

8.12.08

He is just so stubborn...

My child has ADHD, ASD and severe anxiety... he also manipulates to get out of doing what he wants to do. He suffers social and general anxiety. Even to the point now that he worries about things like the bubble in the carpet. I have seen him be totally rude to me and refusing to do what I ask, have a temper tantrum and scream over the top of me. He starts this grunting like a wild captured animal so he doesn’t have to listen to me. Then one day I took him to his music lesson. When I went in he was acting so sugary sweet and laughing with the teacher. So very manipulative!

He is 15 nearly 16 but developmentally he is only about 12... so entering puberty. He gets so worked up and as a result gets out of doing what he has to do. We try very hard to support him through difficulties but he is so extremely stubborn. He currently takes so many meds and is seeing a psychiatrist every few months. I am a teacher and have given up work 3 years ago when things started going bad.

My immediate problem – we are having melt downs and rages because he is asked to do basic things like pick up things from the floor of his room or stop hiding food under the couch. He then becomes indigent and screams over the top of us... seeming to have absolutely no respect for either of us. He groans over the top of us which is quite infuriating. Last night when sent to his room to go to bed be was screaming uncontrollably at 11pm and then he began kicking holes in the wall. How do we deal with this today? He has no remorse at all.

Taking things away and punishing him doesn’t seem to have an impact as this has been the main weapon. He is just so stubborn. How do we break this?

The psychiatrist and paediatrician argue that he is so stressed and he just has to let this out!! It has ruined our family life ashe controls what we eat, where we go and who we see.. They want me to pull him out of school and homeschool him as school is causing the stress. I can see it being stressful but I am not strong enough to fight him every minute of the day. I did do this on their advise for 3 months and it nearly killed me and him!!!. He just dug his heals in and refused to work.

I am a mother who is just barely coping. A husband who works far too hard and shouldn’t have to spend his precious time in battles with a stubborn child.

My Out-of-Control Teen

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