Online Parent Support Chat

18.12.08

I can not let my son get away this time and I demand he responds to the problem...

My son has become very much verbally disrespectful and abusive to me. Each offense of his did not get addressed because he refuses consequences and tells me to shut up etc when trying to talk to him about it.So he gets away with it. As a result he curses me more frequently. Tonight he asked me to help him with Math and he had trouble to get it, so he blamed teacher, text book and me. He took his frustration and anger at me and cursed me again. He punched the wall and slammed the door when I stated the behavior was unacceptable. I can not take this any more because this is endless and frequent and with everything now even with my help he asked. I want him out of the house. I feel like raped by him with his foul languages. For almost two years I could stay cool, but today I finally lost it. My tears were all over my face and I just don't want to be around any more. I don't see hope to stop his this behavior that is getting worse and worse and I can't get him to respond to the problem. This has now affected our relationship re-build hard. I see him as an abusive partner in the house. He has made improvements in a lot of areas as he chooses to do, but definitely gets worse with the verbal abuse. He uses his improvements of other things to threaten me that I have to put up with his abuse or he would stop the other improvements he made. I would imagine that he would leave this house on a very bad term with me and would not have much change with our relationship until he is 40 if that would happen. Where we are standing now is that his behaviors cause conflicts between us and my disciplines and consequences have made him very angry and resentful.

Anyway, my point is that I can not let my son get away this time and I demand he responds to the problem. I want to demand him to give a written apology and come up with what he would do differently next time when he feels like to curse me. Until he acts on my request which he had always successfully got away with, I would not have anything to do with him at home - no speaking, no cooking and do nothing for him this x-mas and his BD on Jan.2. Basically I would be on strike because of his mistreatment to me. If he refuses to make any amends and continue to be verbally abusive, then he needs to find his own place to live. I won't be able to speak about my request to him because as soon as I start talking, he just cuts me off, tells me to shut up and be rude and disrespectful. So, I plan to meet the counselor tomorrow and ask her to talk with my son and get him to be clear about my demand. Do you think I have any chance to be successful to get his attention and look at this issue so that we can manage to live together? What would you suggest me to do? It can not be verbal with him because he just cuts me off and tells me to shut up. I've been mostly using notes to communicate things with him or repeat the house rule if he broke the no alcohol and the drug at home.

My Out-of-Control Teen

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