Online Parent Support Chat

31.12.08

I feel that disciplining is not helping and is driving him farther away...

My name is Gale and I am a mother of a 14-year-old son and it seems over time that I have noticed a small amount of resistance to guidelines that I set for the family to adhere to. I am a single parent. My son has a way of interpreting my stern guidelines in to terms which mean that I do not love and support, which could be further from the truth. I feel that when he verbalizes his thoughts, I am offended by what he said, and I correct him which causes a big dispute, and attempt defend my position on why by correcting him, which he does not easily accept.

At times he confrontational which I have disciplined him for but today he decided to defined himself, which became a physical altercation, which I am perplexed by. We did contact his biological father which has not been actively engaged in his life for over 11 years, which I am cautious in involving him because his father is over 800 miles away. My hesitation there lies in fact that his father does not discipline him nor does he impose guidelines laying and foundation of respect for my son.

My son claims that he does lots of things that I request of him, such as light cooking, baby sitting his sibling, and other request. But he feels that I don't support him emotionally, which I can concur, due to my sole responsibility of being the provider and the parent without support of family, friends or clergy. I haven't had a stable job in over 1 year, which has taken its toll on me, which intern has place lots of stress on my son.

His father has anger issues in which has driven me away and did not actively seek a relationship with his son for over 11 years. I would like to know how to best involve his father, relieving the stress from son and myself. I would also like to know how to be there for my son when he is confrontational without being intimidated not feeling that I should discipline my son. At this point I feel that disciplining is not helping and is driving him farther away.

My Out-of-Control Teen

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