My son, age 14, spends part of his time at his Dad’s house and part at my house. For the past several years he spent the week at his Dad’s and the weekends at my house. Then his Dad said he couldn’t take Nick’s behavior any more and Nick came to live with me during the week and is with his Dad on the weekends and holidays (his Dad is retired). Nick is generally a good kid (if you give him whatever he wants! Yes, we were over-indulgent); he does very well in school, but he exemplifies the ODD behaviors to a tee. He’s out-of-control when he’s crossed, uncaring, manipulative, destroys property. He also has low self-esteem and seems afraid to do almost anything new.
I want to increase Nick’s self-reliance and change my parenting style to a more assertive style. Luckily, I recently married a man from Wisconsin who has successfully raised responsible children and who had told me prior to my finding your website that I was being too indulgent with Nick and not requiring him to do chores, etc., so I have support from him regarding your parenting strategies.
My Over-Indulged Teen