Online Parent Support Chat

31.1.08

I work with leaders who are dealing with kids from the age of 10-15 in Pathfinders...

Hi Mr. Hutten,

I find your advert on My Out of Control Child very interesting. I would like to order your book shortly.

My name is Glyn Joshua and I come from Solomon Islands – if you can find these speck of Islands on your map.

We are located North East of Australia and East of Papua New Guinea. If you have heard of Guadalcanal during

The 2nd World War in the Pacific, this Island is part of the group..

I work with leaders who are dealing with kids from the age of 10-15 in Pathfinders (similar to Scouts) and this would greatly help us deal with situations that parents have problems with. I will get back to you soon.

Regards

Glyn

My Out-of-Control Child

30.1.08

I hate to send him away...

I came across your site today. I have tried several things with my child. He is 9 1/2. We just changed his counselor- 3rd one. He has all the traits described on the site. No sexual or running away though. He does know how to be kicked out of school, and programs though. We were thinking about Boys Town to help him. He has down a lot of stealing from the end of Nov to Dec 2007. Now he has to go to court Feb. 6th.

Would this program help someone that has already gotten himself into this much trouble? It sounds like it would be fine for his age. I am trying to straighten him out before he gets himself into anymore trouble. I hate to send him away, but I need to do something before the state takes over without my permission.

My Out-Of-Control Child

William had trouble fitting into school...

To Mr Hutten,

I found your web-site by googling "Teenage Happiness" and am interested in the issues you address. I have a degree myself in psychology with work backgrounds in finance and civilian police work. This hasn't appeared all that helpful with my own soon-to-be 15 yr old son!

A brief background on our son William. Right from early childhood, William has been academically advanced for his age-after several trials, he seems to be in the right academic program now-first year high school in the gifted program. Never had to work very hard for marks, still has an issue with developing study habits and doing extra homework. Excels at almost every subject, has won awards in science and public speaking, at grade 5 had the language skills of a university student. Does very well at any sport he tries but has no "staying power".

William has a good group of friends, and loving family. He is well liked by adults and young children.Has no problem with relating to girls of his age either.He absolutely loves nature-hiking, camping out, sailing.

Quick Problem History: William had trouble fitting into school situations since grade 5. Appears smoother now. Found his move from Montreal to Mississauga at age 10 quite traumatic. Yearns for "those years of childhood". Had problems with bullies in younger years- not now. Had a terrible problem with his homeroom teacher in grade 8 (at a private school) and spent the year defending himself and his classmates at the cost of marks and exclusion on social events. School administration did nothing constructive about it, even though there were many complaints from many parents.

Current Problems: Past November, William tried pot with his neighbourhood friends. Our main concern here is that he "really" liked it. We see a problem with addiction to it-when William likes something, he is into it 100%. Almost like he pursues academic interests. And he hasn't tried drugs on the spur of the moment. He actually researches everything beforehand. Then in early January, he tried DXM, the cough syrup because he wanted to "explore a halluncination". This is when he told us he would like to try many things-once....Two weeks ago, he says he accidentally took too many tylenol for a headache-was hospitalized for 3 days. Both the attending doctore and psychologist didn't think William was suicidal. William is also interested in a girl who lives in an abusive family situation which plays on his emotions.

Since then, there's been no drugs. He started attending a teen church group with some close friends-twice a week. We have at least a 3 month wait for counselling provided by Rapport, in Mississauga, Ontario. Yesterday William told me that we worry about him too much and that's why he doesn't want to talk about things as much. He feels he can never be a happy person. And this is what I put out in front of you. If you think your program can help, and whatever advice you can give, I would be so grateful.

L.

Online Parent Support

28.1.08

HFA, ODD, ADHD kid is almost out of control...

My grandson who is now 13 was diagnosed with high functioning Asperger’s, ODD & ADHD when he was young. His paediatrician initially diagnosed Ritalin for the ADHA & eventually Risperdal for the HFA. He is now only taking Risperdal.

His behaviour at this point of his life is almost out of control & both his mother & I are extremely worried about him as he is becoming very angry. He slams doors, uses abusive language to the adults in his life just to mention a few of his behavioural problems. The school he attends is very understanding & they have set out a program for him to allow him to reach his full potential with the least amount of stress for him. So the biggest problem now is at home. We have been advised HFA children hold it together as much as possible at school but the melt down happens at home where they can relax.

But he really exhibits not only the HFA but ODD; the behaviour with a combination of the two conditions is shocking.

His mother, who is a single mum, is at the point where she is now unable to cope & I am very concerned for both of them.

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She is making this household a hell...

My daughter has a daughter and is living at home with us, unable to support herself. She is making this household a hell with her lying, stealing, and drinking. I don't want to "kick her to the curb" until I've tried everything I can to be a good parent and role model. I want to know I've done everything within my power to give her the option to change. Thanks for listening. Will this program work for my teen?

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Yes ...click here for help!

25.1.08

I don't know what to do next...

I have a 6yr. old boy has ODD and I don't know what to do next. I have grounded him, spanked him, taken toys away and tried explaining to him that this behavior is not acceptable. He is urinating on the floor in his room, cursing, he bullies my other sons around and disrespects my husband who is not my sons' biological father. he is also very disruptive to my things and my husband's things and takes my husbands games for nintendo and playstation 2. It has become a huge problem and has almost broke up my marriage because of all the behavior.

My son has a TSS and MT that comes to the house, but nothing working that they have suggested.

Please help us!!!!!!

Thank you,

M.

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I cannot handle her anymore...

Dear Mark,

I just wanted to see if there was help out there for me & my granddaughter because last night I was ready to take her to CPS and tell them that I cannot handle her anymore, I've had it.

I am a 59 (Soon to be 60) year old single grandparent raising my five granddaughters that I adopted. (I've had them almost eight years).

Barbara is the oldest, she's 14, and she is the one that I have the most problems with.

Our house is nothing but chaos. She is taller than me & stronger than me. She has many issues because of domestic violence & drugs in the home she was taken away from.

There is no respect in our home. I am strict, but I am not consistent. I won't go into detail because it would end up a book, but it affects all of us. The girls are not bad, they behave very well at other people's homes & church, it's just at home that they are disrespectful to me and one another.

Their ages are 14, 13, 12, 11 & 7. There are times when they flat out disobey me. I have Fibromyalgia, I'm on a fixed income, and I am so overwhelmed that I don't know how much longer I can take it.

I love my granddaughters with all my heart & soul. I just can't understand why they are so disrespectful to me. Barbara is the worst and the others are all fearful of her. I cannot continue to let her actions disrupt the lives of the others.

I read your information and it seems like it might be what I need, because I think that I have tried everything and because I'm afraid that I will lose my temper to the point of where I will hurt her.

Of course, that is NOT what I want to do.

I get paid once a month, on the fifth. I'm afraid to use my bank card online because I was a victim of Identity Theft via my computer.

Just so you know, Barbara does not use drugs because ICE is what tore her family apart and she is vehemently against any form of drug or alcohol use. She's actually in a great school which is all advanced courses. She's smart, and she has a good heart, but her emotions & attitude are what get her in trouble.

Please help me. Tell me what I can do to get your program online. Is there another way to pay?

Thank you for your time and I pray that your program will help with my children.

In His Mercy,

B.

==> Help Is Here

14.1.08

We're at a loss...

I have a male child who has been diagnosed with ODD. He is now 18-1/2. He has been a problem child now for 3 years. Both his stepfather and I have attempted to do whatever we can to convince him to change his behavior, but he is unwilling. He is very shrewd. New York State law says (and he is well aware of the law) that I cannot kick him out other than by an order of protection. I would have to prove that he has been physically or verbally abusive.

According to Family Court, disrespect and not following the house rules does not typically qualify unless it's destructive and/or illegal. (I've been told that the judge generally does not like to put a child out on the street who is not self-sufficient. My son chooses not to work. Unless he leaves voluntarily, I don't think there's anything I can really do until he's 21. He's destroyed my relationship with my husband, and has called the police on us because we took the cell phone out of his hand.

I've tried the Total Transformation Program, but that didn't help. We set the limits and have followed through by taking away all his belongings. He has nothing except a bed in his room and his clothes. He's been living that way off and on for years. He doesn't seem to care. He conforms just enough to win things back and then goes back to being disrespectful. He's just not willing to cooperate. We've made deals with him, which he has gone back on.

We're at a loss. Is it too late for your program? Is there anything we can do?

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