Online Parent Support Chat

12.1.09

I don't know how to get back on track..

Things have gone from bad to worse. As my son refused to be grounded he had his play station and sky box confiscated for 3 days which ended Christmas eve. He got them back but continued to be rude and abusive. He refused to get up on Christmas wished no one Happy Cmas and wouldn't open his presents I said I was sorry he felt that way and apart from that showed no other reaction, put them in a pile and told him they were there when he wanted to open them as we were going to my sisters on an overnight they remained there until the next day. When we returned he grabbed the pile and took them up to his room and rushed down and handed me 2 unwrapped books and my partner a toiletry set, he then rushed back up stairs and opened his presents behind closed doors, he has not mentioned anything about them. He refused to come with us that night to my partners mothers for dinner who is very good to my son. We returned from dinner to find around ten of his friends rushing out of the house fortunately there was no mess, he was rushing out with them and we stopped him , he wasn't happy as it was still early but I told him that I was sorry he had gone behind my back and that if he wanted to have his friends over then he should ask and we could work it out within the boundaries of the house and that as a result he was grouned for the rest of the night.

He has continued to be abusive every time I open my mouth, he deliberately stays out after his curfew, he is out all of the time apart from when he is sleeping, on new years eve we had organised to spend it with another couple who have a son of the same age whom he knows well but he disappeared and stayed out until 6am.

He deliberately leaves a mess, does no chores.

I have confiscated his privilidges under the 3 day rule but he sees this as a cat and mouse game of finding them and re-instating them. He is currently running about with his play station in his ruck sack. I didin't want this to become a game with him so I then stopped his pocket money and told him he would get it back when he is ready to follow the rules and start earning it again. He stole money from me and I am making him pay it back by making him take pack lunches instead of dinner money. Unfortunately his father gave him money for Christmas and he is using that so the no pocket money is having no effect. I feel I have failed here as I have 2 punishements going on which I know is against the rules, I have his sky box but not his play station so only half of the three day confiscation and I don't know how to get back on track.

My Out-of-Control Teen

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