We have a 12 year old daughter that I'm at a loss with. She's be coded with a slight learning disability that can't be detected in a general sense. However, she lacks the ability to problem solve effectively. This certainly reflects on home issues as they arise. Though I know it's easy to diagnose someone I also know my daughter and believe that it's perhaps become a 'learned' behavior over time which is a result of us doing everything for her and taking on her responsibilities.
Now, at the age of 12, we're experiencing difficulties with her accepting and taking responsibility for anything she has done. She always has an excuse and is quick to blame. She honestly believes in what she is saying and isn't being devious or creating lies. She's genuine in her beliefs which makes it even more of a challenge. One quick example is this. The school gives out pick stickers when home work isn't completed. We're very good about checking daily if she has homework since she forgets. She doesn't get lots of pink stickers (perhaps 4-5 year). However, she really shouldn't be getting any so that's what we try to aim for with the understanding that no one is perfect. On the last pink sticker I agreed to sign it, which meant she wouldn't have to go to her father, if she would promise me that she wouldn't get further stickers for the year and complete the asignments as asked of her. She agreed. Well, then she got another pick sticker and I wouldn't sign it. Which meant she would have to go to her father and face puniskment (such as being grounded). She them blamed me because I made mer make a promise to not get another sticker....when apparently I knew she would get another one. Though petty, this is what all her problems are like and the way they end.
My Out-of-Control Child