Online Parent Support Chat


Do I leave them alone?

I have two teenage boys 19 and 18, senior and sophomore in High School. They have both run away. The 19 year old left last Thursday, as I have been trying to get him to stay focused and graduate from High School in May. He has been cutting classes a lot the past 2 years. He was even put in an alternative school in Dec. for 18 days due to skipping. He has lost credit in a couple classed. He assured me that while in the alternative school he got everything caught up and was ready to graduate. I received a phone call from the school principal, letting me know not to buy a cap and gown or invitations as he was not going to graduate because he was supposed to be staying after school everyday until he got everything caught up. I explained that I thought everything was caught up after he returned from the alternative school. The principal then told me that if my son would come after school, he would try helping him in getting everything completed. I at that point told my son, and he did not stay after school the next day. I at that point told him he was grounded and I took his cell phone away, and his truck, and told him I would be taking him to school and picking him up after, his after school session. I also gave him a drug test, as his behavior has been so crazy. He failed for marijuana, which this is not the first time. I have been doing random testing with all three of my teens for a couple years. If they fail, we take their vehicles and cell phones till they pass, which usually takes about a month to get the stuff out of their system. He said he was 19 years old and that he was not going to be grounded and left.

My 18 year old left today, as he skipped school on Tues, which I just found out about. I told him he was grounded for the weekend, and took his cell phone away and he had someone pick him up.

I am doing the so called tough love and its killing me. I have had zero tolerance to drugs in my home, they have known it. I also feel it is my responsibility to get these boys out of high school with a diploma. What do I do? It terrifies me them out there with no money, no phone. What will the turn to for money, food, and a place to stay. I think they are with friends, but not 100% sure.

Please help me. I'm going crazy inside. I have been praying almost all of my waking moments. What are your thoughts on all this, do I leave them alone? Or go grab them by their head of hair and make them come home and do whats right?

My Out-of-Control Teen

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