We've locked the doors so she is not able to enter with just her key anymore...

My daughter Alysha is now 17 and while things started improving and she did well in her final exams last year, recently she has started with her nasty attitude again. Yesterday she was in a rotten mood and we were in the doctor's waiting room (as she had ingrown toenails), I brought up the cigarettes that I had found in her bag. She has kept lying all this time saying that she doesn't smoke but this time she lashed out and me and said "yes I do and you can't tell me what to do. It's my body and I can do what I like!" I told her that I had the right to tell her when she makes bad choices by virtue of the fact that I am her mother.

When we got home, the argument got worse and she started saying that she hated being her because she had no freedom. This is a child who goes out every Fri and Sat and has a curfew of 1 am but always tries to push the boundaries. She usually goes down to the local mall near school most days after school as well even though she has been told not to go as often as she does. So I really don't know how much more freedom she wants.

When I said that, she said that she just wanted to get out of this house. Whenever she has said this in the past, I've always said that we love her and want her to be part of the family and we can sort things out but this time, I said in a very calm voice, alright then go. She packed her school uniform and left within 5 minutes. She went to say with a friend. I spoke to his mum and she said that maybe it was best to leave her there since she was safe and everyone needed some space. Meantime, I had taken everything out of her closets and only left her uniforms and socks and underwear.

She came home after school. My husband and I were at work but my 19 year old son was home. She said hi but went to her room and to pack clothes and was furious when she saw that there was nothing there. She went straight to my bedroom which we had locked. She left a note for me to say that I had no right to take her stuff and that she was coming back tomorrow to collect it. I've written a note and stuck it on the front door to say that she was welcome to come back to take her stuff if she could sit down with us and be reasonable and non-abusive so we could work things out. If not willing to do that, she could leave her house key under the doormat. We've locked the doors so she is not able to enter with just her key anymore.

My Out-of-Control Teen

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