Online Parent Support Chat

16.3.09

I have been "struggling" with my daughter for the past two years...

I have been "struggling" with my daughter for the past two years (behavioural issues began at age 13, she is now 15). Grounding and removing privileges does not work...she simply takes off and disappears for days, even weeks at a time when I place any type of restriction on her whatsoever.

She failed every class last year in school and I was asked to voluntarily withdraw her from school this year due to excessive skipping. The school felt she should attempt to salvage some school credits by enrolling in "virtual" school. She has been enrolled for the past 3 months and has yet to complete anything...She has no motivation to "do" anything whatsoever with her life. She sleeps all day and stays up all night, disturbing the rest of the household who have to get up in morning...

We have attempted counselling to no avail; and she has been diagnosed with depression - but as she disappears so frequently I am having an extremely difficult time seeing that she takes her medication on a consistent basis.

I am a widow and work fulltime...short of following her around all day everday, and staying up all night to keep an eye on her activities; I am at my wits end as to what to do to motivate her to accomplish anything, or to keep her out of trouble. Her bedroom looks like a landfill of dirty laundry and empty alcohol bottles...she refuses to take pride in or take care of anything. Her "peer" group seem to be as motivated as she is and into all kinds of trouble.

I was away on a business trip this past week: Monday to Friday evening. Her grandmother was taking care of things at home in my absence. I had given my daughter specific instructions as to what I expected while I was gone; one of which was that she was not to have anyone over to the house until I came home. She is excessively abusive to her grandmother when friends are around. The very Monday I left she broke this rule. My mom asked the kids to leave and said she would call the police if they returned. That night, my daughter snuck them in her bedroom window and was sleeping under her bed with her boyfriend. My mom did, in fact, call the police and now has a restraining order against the boyfriend...my daughter took off the next day and just returned home a few minutes ago. I don't even know where to begin to deal with this...is it really beginning with assignment #1, humbling myself?

She just walked in as I sit typing this...I asked her to go to her room. To which she replied "why?" I simply said, "You know why and I am not prepared to discuss this with you right now as I have not finished processing everything that has gone on." Her response: "OMG, she didn't tell you what she said - DID SHE?" Referring to my mom...who unfortuantely said something very unwise in the course of their altercation...while attempting to get my daughter to see how she was throwing her life away and where it was heading if she didn't stop...she made the comment "why not just OD now and save everyone the heartache." This is now what my daughter is going to use to justify her actions - which PRECEEDED the comment, I might add.

My Out-of-Control Teen

No comments: