Online Parent Support Chat

14.4.09

Boyfriend Problems

I was, unfortunately, stupid and now understand, passive, and allowed her to manipulate me into letting her have an opportunity with this boy (16 years-old). From what our other daughter (18 years old) had told us, this boy had a reputation of drug use, suspension from school, and cheating on other girls. We did discuss this with our 15 year-old and and she either believed he had changed or lied about it to us. Initially, we allowed her to talk to him and then see him a few times a week with another friend present, going to a movie. We talked to his mom, and she invited our daughter to go and have dinner and watch a movie with them. Since then, they have had dates, and she has been to his house. I, being stupid again, trusted his mom to supervise, as she was the one to bring it to my attention that she was upset that she found them one night asleep on the couch together. Obviously, I was upset, mad and disappointed and discussed with my daughter, again, that she was not to be alone with him and asked him where the mother was. SURPRISE, she was upstairs in a different room. No surprise now, we have now found out, from his mother, that they have had sex. The mother came storming over a week and 1/2 ago, while our daughter was at a friend's, looking for the two of them because she could not find her son. We contacted our daughter and she had met up with the boyfriend and we brought them to our house and all of us discussed that this relationship had to end. The mother told us the boyfriend does use drugs, has been through rehab and counseling, and is clinically depressed and obsessed with our daughter and he was sobbing he can't live without her. We have taken away our daughter's cell phone, computer use, and home phone use, so she has been unable to talk to him with us, while we're home together. She has admitted to talking to him a couple of times on her friend's phone. He calls and hangs up when he hears us answer. Our daughter is withdrawn, depressed and wants to be with him, but we are refusing to allow her to be with him. We know we made the mistake for her to be in this relationship and do not want them together.

My Out-of-Control Daughter

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