Online Parent Support Chat

1.4.09

I am at my wits end and feel I tried everything...

I am at my wits end and feel I tried everything. I am in great hopes about this program and am encouraged by it. My specific question is: My son is already grounded from everything for one week (this happened yesterday afternoon before I found your website) because he took his Grammas’ laptop *which he knows he is not allowed to use a laptop- only the desktop in the family area*, went to look at adult sites *which he knows is not acceptable, he has been grounded for this before* and then lied, saying he had no idea where the laptop was when asked (it was missing off of her desk). I gave the consequence but how do I enforce it? He is refusing do his chores - I gave two chores in addition to the grounding 1) to pick up the dog poo in the backyard and 2) to split some firewood. In addition he was only allowed to watch TV from 7 to 8 pm and no telephone or computer for one week.!

Maybe this is too harsh or too weak but it is what I gave and I know from past experience I cant change it because he tries to manipulate me into getting rid of them one at time -- that part of the road I have traveled well and know to stand my ground. Right now he is refusing to pick up the poo unless I let him go to the movie theater. So, what do I do since he refuses to co-operate and do either one of the two chores? He is stomping around the house, slamming doors, throwing things and yelling profanities. I have no consequence that I can think of to give for this disrespect and I can’t force him to do anything. I have told him, "If you choose not to pick up the dog poo then you will have to sit on the couch." He has chosen not to pick up the poo and refuses to sit on the couch - he is going outside, wandering around the house. When he is not on the couch I go find him and tell him to go to the living room. I am doing good at not arguing with him. (after I answer his initial question, my broken record response is: I love you too much to argue about that) but I am at a loss of what to do. Short of manhandling him, how do I get it through that he needs to sit on the couch? That is what he chose by not picking up the poo. Is this an unrealistic consequence? What options do I have? I am so struggling with the fact that he is being so rude, refusing to co-operate and making life miserable for everyone in the house and I have no idea how to respond to him. I feel as though there is nothing I can do. I guess to sum it all up, once you have issued the consequence(s) after the warning and they refuse to accept/co-operate with the consequence.

My Out-of-Control Teen

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