Online Parent Support Chat

13.4.09

She and I recognise a lot of what you say relates to to David's behaviour...

Dear Mark

My name is Catherine Quekett - I used to work as an advocate for Mrs Betty Bell, supporting her and her husband through years of great difficulty. Since leaving the Advocacy scheme, I have continued to support her as a friend. Betty is an elderly lady (late 70's) whose daughter was tragically killed in a car accident about 14 years ago. When she died, she left two small children, 2 1/2 and 18 months (Nathan and David). Their father is a Jamaican man who Betty and her husband (Graham) did not trust to bring up in a safe and secure environment. They therefore went to court to get a residency order and have since brought the boys up themselves. The Jamaican father stayed in touch for the first couple of years but has been totally absent from the boys lives since then. David has grown up into a teenager with big problems. He is very much an out of control person. He is 16 now but for many years he has bullied and abused his grandparents and in particular his grandmother. Graham sadly died from cancer nearly 2 years ago.

Social services in Worcestershire have recognised Betty's vulnerability and over the last 5 years David has been to a residential school (which he ran away from on a number of occasions), in a residential childrens' home and various foster families. However he is back at home now and ruling the roost again. Betty is constantly in fear. He marches into her bedroom at night, demanding she cook him food, he drags her by the hair, he punches her, he makes her give him money for drugs and cigarettes. David is constantly bringing up the past, blaming Betty for everything, he is always looking for conflict. His elder brother Nathan tries to mediate and has often saved Betty from worse beatings and serious injury.

I was researching attachment disorder on the internet, and wondering whether David may have it, when I came upon your site. Betty came and read the information on your website too and ordered the book and CDs. She and I recognise a lot of what you say relates to to David's behaviour. She so hopes that what she learns from the material will help her to cope, to change her behaviour and help to change David's.

Of course there is a lot of detail I have not included here - it would be a very long email!! It is already pretty long but its a start.

Thanking you for your excellent work

Catherine

My Out-of-Control Teen

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