Online Parent Support Chat

12.5.09

Out-of-Control Stepson

Hi Mark,

I've seen your website and thought it might help with my teenage stepson (now 17).

Last night his mother and I discovered he had been drinking our perfume and aftershave, such is his desire to drink alcohol (he's already emptied our wine cellar). He also smokes pot when he can get it (this actually makes him almost pleasant to be around). He goes to school when he feels like it but increasingly stays at home watching TV and using the family PC to view 'South Park' and other cartoon shows. His passive aggression is relentless and spills over into vandalism whenever he feels frustrated or if we try to reassert any kind of control.

The most frustrating thing is he will not speak to us. Not even a grunt.

After he hit his mother last autumn (two lovely black eyes) we got him referred to the local hospital adolescent psychiatric unit. They had him as an inpatient for three almost months and got pretty well nowhere with him - he stonewalled them like he stonewalls us. Eventually they gave up and discharged him with a recommendation that we find him somewhere to live outside the family home, even though he seems too immature to live on his own.

My Out-of-Control Stepson

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