Things have really got ugly... I just wondering if there is something really bad happening. As I said on the noticeboard, he is destroying his room. Last night he started banging holes massive holes in the wall because he asked him to hand in his phone. This is the rule with all technology as he stays up all night. He refused and then we gave him the consequence (calmly). He loves to bike ride every morning so we told him he would not be able to ride his bike if the phone wasn’t handed in. He refused and went nuts calling us every name under the sun and then destroying the walls. We understand that he is doing this to upset us and divert the attention. Are we right? We ignored him going to bed instead. It is truly hear breaking.
He constantly stealing food and not eating his sandwiches for lunch... so we end up with mouldy food under his bed or behind the couch. He is constantly hiding wrappers of food he “hunts out” under the bed or behind the couch. This could be chip or biscuit packets. Then there are the spoons and any jars of sandwich spreads. He will take food hidden in our room (eg chocolates given at easter) and then hide wrappers. He gets caught out all the time but he still does it. It is like he has distanced himself from this behaviour... like it was someone else. The bizarre thing is he will then vaccum his room for 1 hour plus or polish every little thing in his room... meanwhile having food hidden under his bed. We are talking garbage bag of rubbish each week. Do we get locks for the fridge and cupboards?
He hardly eats any dinner (because it is healthy!) and then will be on the prowl. I try not to buy too many foods and have taken to shopping daily. He is very ocd about his food eg not eating meat or fruit because it may not be predictable ie marks on it. He drinks alot of milk. We think the food thing is assoc with OCD and also the sensory aspect of ASD. He hates to chew and would rather drink milk. He refuses to put his clothes away and each day I have a basket of clothes strewn across his floor. He also hides his underpants under the bed or behind the couch.
It is like he is a caged animal hiding in the corner. He is powerless and trying hard to fight back.
We have gone over and over the program and so unsure of what we maybe missing. 3 days is the normal punishment ie taking things away however when he has been totally out of control we have increased this to 7. We tend to take his techno stuff away during the week because he will do very little work. This has always been the routine. He has the TV in a communal room, but this is also taken away during these times of punishment.
He has destroyed his room and we feel we have totally lost any respect from him. We are actually working well together during moments of stress. If we feel that we are getting emotional we leave and the other person takes over. It is like being in a prison.
He is still taking concerta/Ritalin and Zoloft... the problems normally begin when this is running out (rebounding) at about 10pm although he just seems to be angry all the time and the stealing, hiding etc goes on all the time. He is totally wild unmediated.. making rude sexual comments and actions as well as being totally unco-operative. He wants to shock. Therefore we medicate him before he wakes up. We have tried numerous bi-polar meds which has been a disaster.
He is back at school... who knows if he is working. We have told the school that we have no communication and are not able to help him. He is going to fail miserably-His choice. He has no confidence, no self-esteem, no friends, no ability to concentrate ( his working memory is non-existent we believe due to his heightened anxiety).
So we are about to take his mattress of his bed so he can’t put food underneath... are we just inflaming things? We have backed him into a corner and he is just so angry. He does have control but his choice is not to show restraint. He has been very good at school and appears happy this week!
We are desperate ... living in a rural city with little help ... are we missing something or should we be going in a different direction? Will this program work with kids with mental illness? As he is late going through puberty, could this be the start of bizarre symptoms of something more sinister? I just don’t seem to be getting any support. We talked to his psychiatrist at the beginning of the year... there is no private doctor so there is a wait of 6 months to see him again. He just shakes his head and tells me he is stubborn and what we are doing is right. He can control his anger etc. It just doesn’t help as being the Nazi isn’t working. He is like a cornered mouse in a maze, constantly changing direction.
My Out-of-Control Teen