Where did we go wrong? My son who is almost 11 was told to do a simple chore. His attitude was nasty right away and he began to slam and bang our things. I put him in a timeout to allow him to calm down before returning to his task. He refused fists clinched. I calmly requested that he stand and calm down. He continued to be defiant. He was now getting physically aggressive and I gave him 1 day of grounding. A fit started immediately. We do not remove his things from his room usually, we merely place a lock on his toy closet and remove one cord from his computer to make is unusable. He began to physically attack and push my husband while he was securing his closet. We told him his grounding would not begin until he calmed down and that he was responsible to clean up the mess he had made. We closed his door and walked out. Not a moment later things were slamming up against the walls and doors were being slammed. He now was told he will have three days of grounding and the clock starts when he calms down. This tantrum went for hours. He attacked us both and we told him to stop and not to put his hands on us. We began to remove all items from his room to keep all of us safe and to try to minimize the damage he was inflicting upon our home. He has a matress on the floor and nothing else. He has done his 3 days, but on the second night of the punishment he became physically violent because he had a chore to do and he did not want to do it. I tried to ignore it, i even tried to be goofy and act as if he was not bothering me, but this enraged him to the point where he was screaming at me that he was getting very angry. I told him to go to his room and stay there which he did but only briefly. He came out yelling and slamming his fists on the counter and demanding I feed him now. It was not time to eat yet and I had already told him that I would ensure that he eat later. It only became worse and my husband was not home. I fear at times for my safety with him and I do not know what to do when he is like this. He would not listen. He would not stay in his room. After two hours he settled down, but I don't know how much more I can take. He will out power me soon enough and then what?
My Out-of-Control Teen