Online Parent Support Chat

3.11.09

Out-of-Control Daughter

1) My daughter will not come home after school - goes over to her boyfriend's everyday w/o our permission
2) My daughter will not come home on the week-ends - leaves on Friday after school and may return for an hour or so on Saturday to shower and change and then leaves again and not home again until Sunday night.(had taken off this summer for over a week with this boyfriend and we had no idea where they were). Every week-end, we lay at night and worry about where she is and if she is safe. It is taking a huge toll on our health.
3) Skips classes at least 2 times per week (has been told that she is on borrowed time at the school as they were ready to kick her out 2 weeks ago for skipping classes). She doesn't seem worried about being kicked out at all. Never brings homework home and if failing over 1/2 of her classes.
4) We suspect her and her boyfriend of some drug use but not 100% sure and don't know how to go about finding out as she totally denies it and gets very angry when asked about drugs at all. She feels we don't trust her. Truth is - we don't. She has stolen $$ from me on 3 occasions and tells us lies all the time.
5) Our daughter does nothing to help around the house when she is home which is only about 2 hours a day (plus her sleeping time).

We have been on the verge of possibly sending her to a boarding school for awhile to get her school work back on track but don't really want to go that route. We definitely want to keep her at home and have her around. We just don't ever get to see her the way things are now and she is going to be kicked out of school more than likely and then will just be bumming around as she has no job. Every day is a struggle as she just will not listen and the fact that she is 16, means there is nothing we can do to get her to listen (grounding, consequences) except kick her out and we don't want to do that. We want to try everything else first.

We can only hope that she can see what she is doing to herself and will start to have some self-esteem and respect for herself. We are just at our wit's end right now.

My Out-of-Control Daughter

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