Online Parent Support Chat

17.3.10

16-year-old Son Having Sex With 15-year-old Girl

Up until 5 days ago, our 16 year old son would have been described by everyone who knows him as a "good kid". So, not knowing where to turn, and not having anyone that I can talk to, I came upon your site. I wasn't sure it would apply to our situation, but decided to give it a try. Yesterday I read all of session #1 and found it to be very appropriate and helpful. I cried off and on all afternoon. My son is the youngest of 3 boys, his brothers are 28 and 23 and are not at home; one being out on his own, one still in college. obviously, we are older parents; 62, and 53.

I can see that, yes, we have been over indulgent with this, "the baby" of the family, and that he has successfully charmed me into giving him more freedom than he is able to handle. For the parent quiz, my husband got a 68, I got an 80. Guess who the child comes to?-yes, me. We have joked in the past about him being a real "Tom Sawyer"-that he could always manage to get everyone else to do things for him. He has always been pleasant to be around, done just fine in school, etc, etc.

So imagine our shock of discovering that he and his girlfriend, (of only 3 months, and who is only 15), have been having sex for the last 2 weeks. We went to her parents, and told them what we had discovered, and we are all in a bit of shock. My first concern was to discern if this was something that he forced upon her, but her mother and I have both come to the conclusion that it was a mutual stupidity. They have not seen each other except at school since last friday. We live in a VERY small and remote town, and I told my son not to tell anyone about it, and that we would not either, to protect them both. But I really have no one to talk to, and am really needing someone. I fully intend to continue with your course, but also feel an urgency about the situation; about how best to handle things. For his very first "out of control" act, he picked a big one.

My Out-of-Control Son

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think your over reacting

Anonymous said...

Yes she definatly is , most teenagers do it stop being so stuck up and let your son make his own mistakes!

Anonymous said...

Way over reacting..just calm down,a little stopping them see each other as much or being `disapointed' that much could make then rebel and it definately wont stop them . Id the.bpth cobsented and were sure it was right to do thats therw choice! Im in the EXACT same posistion except im one of the teenagers not a parent and your handling.it wrong. My mom did it,like that and I got so,angry I near ran away because I felt like she was tryna control,my,life and stop me from seeing him..who,im,in,love with still!! If there sure its right time for them please dont stop.them, itll make matters worse. Try talkin t them and helping em and if they,still,waba which they,prob will perhaps help them with a contraceptive cos even tho yous are stopping them seeing each,other there prob,atil" gona have.sex cos.there teens who,like each other a lot!! Its part of growing up!