I am now so tried and worn out...

I live in Australia and I am at my wits end I am so close to just walking out I feel so angry, sad and depressed…. I have 2 girls one 17 and one 15 and a son 8 the girls rule the roost they scream every time they don’t get what they want and believe me I am no pushover I do stand my ground trying to keep some control as a parent….. my husband works very long hours so he is not there to help very much with parenting and his way is to just give in and do what they want to keep the peace ………… it’s so intense in my house that I feel everyone just wants to check out.

When i don’t give my children what they want they want because I don’t like to give in to them when they are throwing abuse at me or pushing me… they scream so loud I am amazed the police don’t come. The down side to trying to keep control over my house and my life is that every day there is fighting in my house my little boy has to witness this all every day. I am scarred that things might get out of control and someone will get hurt or hurt them self. I am so worn out that I have resorted to putting my eye pod in my ears for sanity because I cant stop them screaming when they don’t get what they want but the oldest child has started pushing and hitting me my husband says if he go’s to give them a smack or ground them it just makes things even more intense his way is to check out …. it is affecting my marriage this has been going on for years and I am having chest pains and really don’t think myself or my marriage will survive this. I have been to a psychologist and have taken my 15 year old to one as well… she has been taught all the skills to deal with her anger but she chooses not to use these skills….The 17 year would not go… and I have done heaps parenting groups and anger management groups trying to fix my self I always seem to be trying to fix myself because I know people will only change if they choose to and my kids like to blame me for ever thing that’s has gone wrong in there life. I am angry all the time because this is what I am living with daily that’s why I try so hard to fix me but I have had enough of blaming me for there behaviour.

I am now so tried and worn out that I just tell them to go away or swear at them anything to survive this living hell I know I sound negative but I have been living this now for about 15 years. The only way I can describe my life is like I have a big open wound on me and when I am away from them it starts to heal but as soon as I am with them it starts to bleed again so it can never heal…. I feel hopeless like I can’t escape them all I want is a happy family and I do love them all so very much that’s what’s makes it so hard to leave. I just don’t know anymore…. I must admit myself and my husband at this stage don’t talk nicely to them and there is quite a bit of… swearing I cant control that either been trying for years to stop everyone swearing and now I seem to be swearing quite a bit myself. It seems like I try so hard to be a good mum and do all that’s I was suppose to do to raise them right talking about feelings with them and doing lots of sport and never missing a event that they have on… somehow I fail .. whatever I do its never enough they just abuse me daily … because i have try so hard for so long I think i have giving up on ever having happiness again.

Out-of-Control Teens

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